Test Run Kid

Six years old on a chair by the sink Hands in the water Plates stacked to the brink Standing on tiptoes Soap in my eyes Trying to read grown-up fights in their sighs Folding shirts that were bigger than me Stirring a pot I could barely see They called it helping They called it love I called it surviving Just growing up [Pre-Chorus] Half-sister crying in the other room Brother asking if it's over soon I learned to swallow the heat The hurt Smile through the chaos Scrub the dirt [Chorus] Guess I was the test run kid Took every hit so the others never did Carried the weight that they couldn’t admit Till my back grew strong from the way they lived I was the guinea pig child in the storm Taught them what breaks What bends What forms Twenty-five now Look who I am I'm still here And I won't say “thanks” for that But I’ll say this I'm a fighter I exist [Verse 2] Laundry spinning like my tired head Counting the bruises in the words they said Cooking for five on a single flame Learning that silence can scream your name Pressure like a hand on my throat Every small failure went in my coat Wore all their anger like it was mine Thought I was wrong just for being alive [Pre-Chorus] They had their chances to learn To heal Used my childhood as their training field But every burn that they left on me Turned into armor they’ll never see [Chorus] Guess I was the test run kid Took every hit so the others never did Carried the weight that they couldn’t admit Till my back grew strong from the way they lived I was the guinea pig child in the storm Taught them what breaks What bends What forms Twenty-five now Look who I am I'm still here And I won't say “thanks” for that But I’ll say this I'm a fighter I exist [Bridge] I used to think I was made wrong Now I see I was made strong (oh, oh) You wrote the rules on my soft skin But the story’s mine from here on in [Chorus] Yeah I was the test run kid Took every hit so the others never did Turned all that hurt into something I give A softer world for the ones I’m with I was the guinea pig child in the storm Now I’m the calm after every war Twenty-five now I raise my hands I’m not your lesson I’m my own chance Remember this I'm a fighter I exist (yeah)