CH 9: Audit the Auditors

Yeah… Check the numbers, check the facts But who’s checkin’ us? Let’s go! Walkin’ in the office, see my man Harris at the desk Starin’ at the screen, and he’s all impressed Says “BALLS! Ain’t it wild what the humans love? Kick ’em, hit ’em, chase ’em — it’s like they’re stuck In a loop, a cycle, chasin’ round the globe Wastin’ time on games when they could be growin’, yo!” I said “Harris, buddy, you lost me today But I got a bigger thing that I need to say — Ever ask who watches the watchman, huh? We audit them — but who audits us? System’s ancient, never been reviewed Memories are sharp but the process is screwed!” He said “Nah, it’s always been this way — Why fix what ain’t broken, why rock the wave?” I said “’Cause it’s rotting from the inside out! We’re missin’ the truth — there ain’t no doubt!” Check the books, check the score But who’s checkin’ who we checkin’ for? Numbers lie, the files are fake We gotta shake up what we take! Audit the auditors, open the door The system’s broken — we want more! Got the proof, got the scoop, let me lay it down Catering department’s a mess, word around town — Lucky Ciferelli told me straight to my face Staff walkin’ out, can’t keep up the pace People stealin’ food, addin’ things to the plate But the reports? Clean! Perfect rate! They just copy the last one, change the date and the name Hit send — and we accept it all the same! Hell’s reports are spotless, same as accounting sheets? C’mon now — that’s some funny business, sweet! If they’re all on something, creative and wild Why’s their file lookin’ like a boring child? Copy paste, change the date, send it on through We just nod and accept it — we’re fools, it’s true! Some play it straight, some fudge the line We gotta see it for ourselves — that’s the bottom line! Check the books, check the score But who’s checkin’ who we checkin’ for? Numbers lie, the files are fake We gotta shake up what we take! Audit the auditors, open the door The system’s broken — we want more! Harris: “Whoa, hold up — not our job to fix the whole wide world!” Girls: “But we can see the truth, and we can give it a whirl!” Harris: “Go to Analytics first — let the Muses guide your way Find where the rot is, then you make your play!” Girls: “Then we take it to Probert — let him decide! Either we get the green light or we go back inside!” Harris: “Good luck, ladies — I’m stayin’ on my chair Got a thousand ball sports to study over there!” All: “Typical!” Check the books, check the score But who’s checkin’ who we checkin’ for? Numbers lie, the files are fake We gotta shake up what we take! Audit the auditors, open the door The system’s broken — we want MORE! Yeah… Site visits. No more copy-paste. We’re comin’ to see you. Don’t hide the receipts.