[Intro: Highland pipe-band male MC over pipe-band snare drums and the drones] Aye, pull a chair up to the fire, I'll tell it once and that's the lot [Verse 1: Highland pipe-band male MC, hard and steady, pipe-band snares and a heavy kick] There's a tune they teach you young, but nobody plays it through Every piper in the glen stops one bar short, and so will you My teacher stopped, his teacher stopped, two hundred years of men Who'd blow it to the edge and stop and fold the bag again There's a pub at the end of the road, the last one 'fore the hill And they call it the Last Bar, and they say the hill sits still As long as nobody plays the end inside the Last Bar's door 'Cause the last fool played it whole, and nobody saw him anymore So every Samhain at the fire I stop where I was told And the old men nod and pass the dram against the creepin' cold [Verse 2: Highland pipe-band male MC, quicker, bagpipe riff cuttin' through] But this year Davie's had a few, and Davie's got a mouth He says "you dinnae have the lungs," he says it north and south He says "your teacher was a feartie, and his teacher was the same Two hundred years of cowards wi' the bagpipes and the shame" He says "the hill's a heap of heather, play the bloody thing right through" And the whole pub's gone quiet, and the fire's burnin' blue And I'm countin' every piper who stopped short and never knew What the last bar might have opened if a single one went through So I fill the bag, I set the drones, I find the openin' note And I play it to the edge again with my heart up in my throat [Hook: Highland pipe-band male MC, full pipe band, drums and drones together] Never play the last bar in the Last Bar by the hill Stop it one short, lad, and the heather will lie still Two hundred years of pipers stopped and drank and went to bed Never play the last bar, 'cause the last bar wakes the dead [Verse 3: Highland pipe-band male MC, the hill answers, a second set of pipes plays the harmony from up the hill, then the full pipe band lands] But I play the last bar, aye, I play it loud and long And the windows rattle in the frames, and somethin' joins the song From up the hill, a set of pipes, a harmony, a third Like a man who's waited up there since the last time he was heard Two hundred years he stood alone with half a tune to play Every piper stopped below him, so he couldnae walk away It wasnae ever a curse, lads, it was a duet with a hole And every feartie in this glen left a dead man in the cold So we finish it together, me below and him above And he tips his bonnet down the hill, and walks off in the fog [Final Hook: Highland pipe-band male MC, full pipe band, drums and drones together] Never play the last bar in the Last Bar by the hill Stop it one short, lad, and the heather will lie still Two hundred years of pipers stopped and drank and went to bed Never play the last bar, 'cause the last bar wakes the dead [End]
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