[3 aggressive male voices constantly overlapping, female backing vocals finishing lines and echoing punchlines, messy shouted delivery, not clean singing] Boom and Drutten, dead server, big map, no crowd, just two kings online and somehow it’s still too loud, whole island wide open, every road look free— and Boom still runs over Drutten like “bro how’s that me?!” (Female: HOW’S THAT YOU?!) Middle of nowhere, nobody around for miles, yet Boom finds the one damn farmer with the gene-file smile, Drutten in the field with his plants lined up like art, Boom comes flyin’ through and turns the whole crop into parts (Female: NOOO THE GENES!) YYYGGG, sacred code, perfect green religion, Boom walks in with YYYGGX like it’s “close enough” precision— Drutten stopped breathing, face pale, hand shook, looked at that plant tray once and immediately threw up (Female: MEDIC! / GET THE MEDIC!) Emergency sirens, bucket by the bed, Drutten whisperin’ “that X should have been G instead…” Boom said “bro, my bad, I’ll never do that again,” then forgot what he promised in like eleven minutes flat (Female: AGAIN?!) CHORUS Two friends on an empty server— (Female: TOO CROWDED!) Whole damn map but it still ain’t bigger— (Female: NEED MORE SPACE!) Too much loot, same damn road, same damn crate, same damn fight, one goes left, one goes right, still collide by night Two friends on an empty server— (Female: TOO CROWDED!) Whole damn world but it still gets tighter— (Female: BACK IT UP!) Need more room for the farm, the loot, the road, the base, ‘cause if Boom gets near Drutten, somebody losin’ face (Female: EVERY TIME!) Drutten built a fortress, walls clean, angles mean, defense lookin’ crispy like a magazine spread scene, turrets all placed, peeks all right, every corner looked sound— then a whole damn mountain said “nah, I live here now” (Female: A MOUNTAIN?!) Not a rocket, not C4, not a raid alarm blast, just geology droppin’ in and ruining his ass, middle of the base like nature had a grudge, wrecked his whole defense plan with one giant ugly nudge (Female: THAT’S FOUL!) Next day raiders showed up, looked around, said “wow,” “never seen a mountain do the softening-up before now,” base gone, loot gone, all the hard work flattened, Drutten first man ever gettin’ offline raided by a landmass (Female: HISTORY MADE!) Boom builds raid bases, nice angles, trap lines, clean, professional little death houses, beautiful and mean, then weeks later rolls up like “alright boys, easy score,” starts raiding his own damn build and forgets what he built it for (Female: NOOOO!) Can’t find the tool cupboard, can’t remember the route, hits one shotgun trap and gets his own memory blown out, floor spikes, flame traps, door path all wrong, Boom dyin’ to Boom while pretendin’ nothing’s gone (Female: IT’S YOUR BASE!) You’d think bad memory, maybe old age, maybe stress, maybe built it too long ago, maybe just a little less… less… (Female: THINKING?!) Either way he’s standin’ there with satchels in hand, getting violated by his own architectural plan (Female: MASTERPIECE!) CHORUS Two friends on an empty server— (Female: TOO CROWDED!) Whole damn map but it still ain’t bigger— (Female: NEED MORE SPACE!) Too much loot, same damn road, same damn crate, same damn fight, one goes left, one goes right, still collide by night Two friends on an empty server— (Female: TOO CROWDED!) Whole damn world but it still gets tighter— (Female: BACK IT UP!) Need more room for the farm, the loot, the road, the base, ‘cause if Boom gets near Drutten, somebody losin’ face (Female: EVERY TIME!) Big map, no players, should be peaceful, should be free, but Boom and Drutten turn solitude into catastrophe, one’s farming perfect genes like a scientist in pain, one’s gettin’ lost in his own damn trap house once again (Female: AGAIN! AGAIN!) And somehow through the chaos, the puke, the mountain, the smoke, they still log in tomorrow like “bro that was a joke…” same road, same loot, same friendship, same beef, same two idiots making an empty server feel too deep (Female: TOO DEEP!) OUTRO Boom and Drutten, twelve G, all night, empty damn island but they still gotta fight, farm too close, roads too tight, raid base memory too weak, and if the mountain don’t get ya then your own trap will this week (Female: THIS WEEK!) Need more room! Need more room! Need more room to breathe! Need more room for genes and loot and not get run down in the street! Need more room! Need more room! Whole server still too small! For two damn friends on an empty map causing problems for us all (Female: FOR US ALL!)
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