[Intro] (Finger snaps in rhythm) Bum-bum-bum, (Bum-bum-bum) Bum-bum-bum, (Bum-bum-bum) Hello! (Hello!) Hello! (Hello!) [Verse 1] I took my gal to dinner at the fancy Chez Renee I coiffed my hair with extra care to seize the coming day I applied a little dollop—well, a gallon, truth be told— Of 'Super-Stick Tight Pomade' (the variety in gold!) I was looking like a dandy, such a polished, shiny sight Until my hat got stuck upon my head a little tight! [Chorus] Oh, the pomade, (The pomade!) It’s a sticky situation! It’s a greasy, waxy, glossy, gloppy, capillary sensation! (Step-wise harmony) I can't tip my topper when the ladies pass me by It’s glued onto my cranium and tilted toward my eye! My hair is staying put until the year of ninety-nine, My darling says I’m dapper, but I’m covered in the shine! (Bass solo: Deep down in the shine!) [Verse 2] We went to see a movie, it was quite a lovely show But my Homburg hit the ceiling in the second-to-last row I tried to pull it off with all my vigor and my might But that 'Super-Stick' was holding on and looking for a fight! The usher had to help me, then the manager came too, By the time we left the lobby, we were bonded just like glue! [Bridge] (Slower, dramatic harmony, rubato) Oh, my sweet Clementine, She said, "Dear, you look divine," Though my scalp is feeling heavy, And my forehead’s in a levy... (Speeding up, snappy tempo) But I’ll never have a stray hair out of place! No, I’ll never have a stray hair out of place! [Chorus] Oh, the pomade, (The pomade!) It’s a sticky situation! It’s a greasy, waxy, glossy, gloppy, capillary sensation! I can't tip my topper when the ladies pass me by It’s glued onto my cranium and tilted toward my eye! My hair is staying put until the year of ninety-nine, My darling says I’m dapper, but I’m covered in the shine! [Outro] (Echoing phrases) Covered in the shine! (So much shine!) Stuck like a pine! (Like a pine!) I used too much! (Just a touch!) (Grand Finale Chords) Oh, that sticky, waxy, shiny, glos-sy, Po-made... (Hold the chord) Stuck... on... me! (Final tag) Bum-bum-bum! HELLO!
