[Verse 1] I worry that I'm sad for your attention Though I've never told you half of what that means Never mentioned nights spent crying on the kitchen floor Or everything I picture when I can't sleep You'll probably never even hear this song Still I wonder if I'm making it all worse If some part of me just wants to stay broken So somebody will finally do the work [Pre-Chorus] Maybe I don't want to get better Maybe I just like the rain Maybe every time I tell you that I'm hurting I'm just finding someone else to blame [Chorus] I can't stand being an inconvenience to you Can't stand watching my bad days become yours too So I'll swallow every ugly thing Then hate you when you don't notice Keep my mouth shut, call it proof That nobody wants to know this I'm too much when I tell the truth I'm lying when I hide it If I need you, I'm a burden If I don't, then I'm fine Tell me, what the fuck am I supposed to do With a sadness that's an inconvenience to you? [Verse 2] There's a dark cloud hanging over me Apparently it rains on everyone I should really learn some gratitude For all the things I've failed to become I could work a little harder I could try to want it more I could stop making every room I'm in Feel heavier than before And God, I know you're tired That's the part that makes it worse Because I don't want to make you carry me I just want somebody to know it hurts [Pre-Chorus] Maybe I don't want to get better Maybe misery's my trick Maybe fifteen years of fighting it Just means I'm really bad at this [Chorus] I can't stand being an inconvenience to you Can't stand watching my bad days become yours too So I'll swallow every ugly thing Then hate you when you don't notice Keep my mouth shut, call it proof That nobody wants to know this I'm too much when I tell the truth I'm lying when I hide it If I need you, I'm a burden If I don't, then I'm fine Tell me, what the fuck am I supposed to do With a sadness that's an inconvenience to you? [Bridge] Do I want your help Or do I want your attention? Do I want to heal Or just earn your affection? Would I still be this fucked up If nobody could see? Would I still fall apart With no audience but me? That's the question that disgusts me Because I don't know what is true Maybe wanting to be witnessed Isn't the same as using you But there I go again Making excuses for myself Turning every accusation Into somebody else's fault [Breakdown] So don't worry I won't make a scene I'll keep it small I'll keep it clean I'll take my pills I'll go to work I'll make damn sure You never hurt And when you tell me I seem better I'll say, "Yeah, I guess I am." [Final Chorus] I can't stand being an inconvenience to you So I've gotten fucking excellent at disappearing in the room I can laugh when I'm supposed to I can keep the weather pleasant You can love me so much easier When I'm barely fucking present I'm too much when I tell the truth I'm lying when I hide it If I need you, I'm a burden If I don't, then I'm fine I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to do So I'll try not to be an inconvenience to you.
