(Pardon me, sir! Are those peaches fresh on your tree?) (Oh, rotten green apples, bad idea) Nineteen-o-four in the Saint Louis heat I showed up with ordinary shoes on my feet Lost all my money in a card game in town Hitchhiked a thousand miles up and down Had no racing shorts so I took out a blade Cut my heavy wool pants right in the shade The pistol went off and the runners took flight I started at a trot in the hot daylight I was running alongside the touring sedans Stopping on the shoulder shaking people hands (Hello, my friend! Beautiful day for a jog!) The other runners choking on the gravel road dust While I am taking in the view because a smile is a must Twenty-six miles in the Missouri sun I am having too much pleasure just to make it a run Orchard nap, lying in the shade below (In the shade) Let the other runners do the heavy show (Heavy show) Orchard nap, eating from the apple branch (Apple branch) Sleeping thirty minutes by the cattle ranch (By the ranch) Woke up refreshed and I tied my laces tight (Tied them tight) Took fourth place in the Olympic light (Fourth place) Mile seventeen and my stomach was dry Saw an orchard of fruit catching my eye Jumped the picket fence and I grabbed two or three Told the property owner they were looking free I took two bites and my belly gave a kick Green rotten apples make a runner real sick I laid down in the clover right under the leaves Listening to the breeze rolling through the eaves I took a little snooze while the leaders went past Thinking to myself that I was definitely last Woke up at two, wiped the grass off my face Stretched out my legs and got back in the race (Alright, nap time is over! Let's get that ribbon!) Twenty-six miles in the Missouri sun I am having too much pleasure just to make it a run Orchard nap, lying in the shade below (In the shade) Let the other runners do the heavy show (Heavy show) Orchard nap, eating from the apple branch (Apple branch) Sleeping thirty minutes by the cattle ranch (By the ranch) Woke up refreshed and I tied my laces tight (Tied them tight) Took fourth place in the Olympic light (Fourth place) (The fastest nap in history.) Orchard nap, lying in the shade below (In the shade) Let the other runners do the heavy show (Heavy show) Orchard nap, eating from the apple branch (Apple branch) Sleeping thirty minutes by the cattle ranch (By the ranch) Woke up refreshed and I tied my laces tight (Tied them tight) Took fourth place in the Olympic light (Fourth place) Crossed the finish line with a smile on my face Best afternoon nap in an Olympic race (Orchard nap, yeah) (Pass the apples)
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