GUILTY OF THE GROOVE [Intro — Aggressive slap upright bass, syncopated piano, finger snaps, distant courtroom chatter] [Deep male voice, authoritative] All rise! [One massive brass hit] [Female voice, sweetly sarcastic] Oh, honey… I’m already standing. [Four explosive trumpet stabs — Full band kicks into a bouncing ska-swing groove] [Verse 1 — Sassy, quick rhythmic delivery] They dragged me downtown at a quarter to nine, Said, “Lady, you’ve been stepping way out of line!” Got a witness in the corner with a crooked little grin, Said he saw me make the whole brass section sin. The judge had a powdered wig and a face like stone, Said, “You’ve been causing trouble everywhere you’ve gone!” I said, “Your Honor, take a number, get yourself in line, I’ve been booked for disturbing the peace since 1999!” [Trumpets — BA-DAP! BA-DAP!] [Pre-Chorus — Walking bass, playful backing vocals] He said, “How do you plead?” (I SAID, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?) “You’ve been shaking up the city Like a dancing machine!” He said, “Do you understand What you’re accused of?” I said, “Yeah, sugar… NOT HAVING ENOUGH FUN!” [Chorus — Massive brass explosion, instantly catchy hook] GUILTY! GUILTY! GUILTY OF THE GROOVE! Lock me up, throw away the key, But you can’t lock down these dancing shoes! GUILTY! GUILTY! WHAT’S A GIRL TO DO? If loving that rhythm is a criminal thing, THEN I’M GUILTY OF THE GROOVE! [Backing vocals — Call and response] (Guilty!) OH, BABY! (Guilty!) COME SAVE ME! (Guilty!) OF THE GROOVE! [Instrumental — Hot saxophone riff over slapping double bass] [Verse 2 — Faster ska delivery, mischievous storytelling] They brought in a witness in a three-piece suit, Said, “She stole my heart and my dancing boots!” I said, “Honey, check your pockets, I ain’t stolen a thing, Except the spotlight when the saxophone sings!” The prosecutor started sweating through his fancy silk tie, Said, “Objection! This woman is telling a lie!” But the jury started clapping on two and four, And the bailiff moonwalked across the courtroom floor! [Sudden brass stop] [Female voice, innocently] Was that… contempt of court? [Deep male voice] Absolutely! [Female voice] Well, put it on my tab! [Explosive trumpet run] [Pre-Chorus — Drums building, backing vocal shouts] He said, “ORDER!” (ORDER!) I said, “MAKE IT LOUDER!” (LOUDER!) He said, “THIS IS A COURTROOM!” I said, “THEN WHY’S EVERYBODY DANCING?” [Chorus — Soaring female vocals, huge swing groove] GUILTY! GUILTY! GUILTY OF THE GROOVE! Lock me up, throw away the key, But you can’t lock down these dancing shoes! GUILTY! GUILTY! WHAT’S A GIRL TO DO? If loving that rhythm is a criminal thing, THEN I’M GUILTY OF THE GROOVE! [Instrumental Dance Break — 35 seconds, furious upright slap bass solo, stabbing ska guitar, wild ragtime piano, trumpet and saxophone exchanging blistering improvised solos] [Band cuts to silence] [Female vocal, whispered] Ladies and gentlemen of the jury… I have just one question. [Deep upright bass — BOOM, ba-dum] Can you… FEEL… THAT… BASS? [Explosive electro-swing bass drop — Full horns return with a new syncopated hook] [Bridge — Smoky, bluesy female vocals over walking bass and finger snaps] You can take my lipstick, Take my Cadillac. Take my fancy stockings, But you ain’t getting my rhythm back. You can write a hundred laws, Put my picture on the wall, But the minute that the bass kicks in, WE’RE ALL GONNA FALL! [Backbeat stops — Solo female vocal] So here’s my final statement… [Pause] And I suggest you write this down. [Gradual bass and drum buildup] If dancing is a crime… THEN ARREST THE WHOLE DAMN TOWN! [Explosive brass fanfare — Double-time ska groove] [Final Chorus — Massive female harmonies, full 12-piece brass section] GUILTY! GUILTY! GUILTY OF THE GROOVE! LOCK ME UP, THROW AWAY THE KEY, BUT YOU CAN’T LOCK DOWN THESE DANCING SHOES! GUILTY! GUILTY! WHAT’S A GIRL TO DO? IF LOVING THAT RHYTHM IS A CRIMINAL THING, THEN I’M GUILTY OF THE GROOVE! [Backing vocals — Energetic crowd chant] (GUILTY!) LET ME HEAR YA! (GUILTY!) LOUD AND CLEAR, YEAH! (GUILTY!) OF THE GROOVE! [Extended Outro — Blazing trumpet solo, baritone sax growls, slap bass running wildly, offbeat ska guitar, pounding dance drums] [Male voice, shouting above the band] The jury has reached a verdict! [Music cuts] We find the defendant… [Pause] [Quiet female voice] Fabulous? [Full brass explosion] [Male voice] GUILTY! [Female voice, laughing] That’s what I thought! [Final wild brass flourish — Tight synchronized band ending] [End]
