Oh the tales they told in Dublin town Of a monster black and slick Tentacles tall as the masthead spar And teeth like iron picks But I met the beast off Galway Bay On a Tuesday, calm and flat He climbed aboard, the ocean roared And then he curled up like a cat The kraken ain’t that big, lads He fits inside me tub He drinks me ale and steals me chips And burps it in the suds (hey!) So raise your glass and take a swig To the terror of the deep I dig He’s a tiny, slimy, huggy squig The kraken ain’t that big I built him up a little crate From an old sardinewood box He uses all me socks for hats And chews on rusty locks The sailors scream, “We’re doomed, we’re doomed!” When they see him on the deck Till he sneezes ink on their best new boots And licks ‘em off their neck The kraken ain’t that big, lads He fits inside me tub He drinks me ale and steals me chips And burps it in the suds (oh yeah!) So raise your glass and take a swig To the terror of the deep I dig He’s a tiny, slimy, huggy squig The kraken ain’t that big He used to wreck a hundred ships Or so the legends brag Now he wrestles with me laundry line And naps inside me flag If the ocean wants its monster back It’ll have to beg and plead ‘Cause this wee lump of calamari Is all the beast I need (hey!) The kraken ain’t that big, lads He fits inside me tub He drinks me ale and steals me chips And burps it in the suds So raise your glass and take a swig To the terror of the deep I dig From Dublin docks to old Limerick The kraken ain’t that big
