Heartbeat low Room stays quiet Curtains blur the hours Until time gives up No name needed No past needed Just your voice And the lock Keys turn slow Every morning “Good morning” gentle Never warm Food goes cold I don’t notice Hands too steady Mine forget When you touch me Thoughts go soft Like I’m sinking On purpose Can I call you brother If it makes me calm If it keeps me from shaking You say you love me And I let it work When the walls stop talking Am I being held Or being hidden I don’t ask anymore Picture frame Face turned down Someone else In the glass “You’re so similar” You say softly Like it’s comfort Like it’s facts I learn the rules I stay useful I fill the gap And I smile Can I call you brother If it makes this clean If it turns the panic quiet You say you love me Like it’s mercy Like it isn’t violence Am I being saved Or being kept I don’t know anymore Don’t touch me Don’t come closer Don’t look at me like that …don’t go Outside feels like noise Inside feels like air I hate that I need it I hate that it works Don’t play innocent You know the shape of this You built it gentle You didn’t break me loudly You made it normal You made it “care” And I still stay Because leaving Feels worse Can I call you brother When I’m losing words When I can’t tell love from terror Love and fear Same heartbeat Both of them feel familiar If I name this feeling It feels safer Like it won’t take more Door stays closed Room stays kind I stay quiet I stay inside I say “I love you” Not because it’s true Because it works Because I’m here
