I know the weight of every absence By the places that still ache I kept waiting for the years To make me someone they couldn't change There are pieces I remember That don't feel like mine anymore Every hand I ever trusted Left something behind when it let go I thought healing meant returning To whoever I had been But I don't know where the damage ends Or where I begin Every loss left something with me Every leaving changed the frame I kept trying to recover Something time had rearranged Now I carry every ending In the way I hold myself I don't know what survived it I just know Something did There are versions I remember That would never recognize me now There are names I stopped forgiving That I still can't live without Every almost left a contour Every betrayal left its weight I became the sum of everything I couldn't Fucking change I spent so long trying to heal I never noticed I was changing shape Every loss left something with me Every leaving changed the frame I kept trying to recover Something time had rearranged Now I carry every ending In the way I hold myself I don't know what survived it I just know Something did Maybe nothing ever heals Maybe we just learn The weight of it Maybe every piece I lost Is still deciding What I am I CAN'T GO BACK I CAN'T UNDO IT I CAN'T BECOME WHO I WAS BEFORE EVERYTHING I SURVIVED TOOK SOMETHING AND LEFT SOMETHING IN ITS PLACE Every loss left something with me Every leaving changed the frame I kept trying to recover Something time had rearranged Now I carry every ending In the way I hold myself I don't know what survived it I just know Something did Every loss became a part of me Every wound redrew the frame Every person I outlived inside myself Still answers to my name There is nothing left to salvage Nothing waiting to be saved I can't change what made me this way I can only bear THE SHAPE OF WHAT REMAINS
