[Verse 1] I been living in a storm with a notebook in my hands, Tryna build a future while I barely understand How to sit still, how to breathe, how to finish what I start, Every deadline feels like knives going straight through my heart. Grad school got me drowning in a sea of expectations, I can’t tell if I’m gifted or I’m built for hesitation. My brain runnin’ circles, always loud, never kind, Like I’m tryin’ to hold a universe inside my mind. [Pre-Chorus] And I swear I’m not lazy, I’m just fighting for control, Every day I lose a little piece of my soul. I want to be present, I want to be enough, But my mind keeps slipping when the world gets rough. [Chorus] I just want to focus, let the noise fall away, But the silence gets loud and the hours decay. Adderall helps me lock in, but it takes my shine, Turns me into someone I don’t recognize. I just want to love you without running out of air, But I’m giving so much and there’s nothing left to spare. I’m trying to hold on, trying not to break, What I need to survive might be what makes me fake. [Verse 2] I miss the version of me that could laugh without a reason, Could sit in a moment and believe in every season. Now I’m measured by my output, my papers, and my pace, And every little victory comes with a hollow taste. My friends say “you’re here,” but I drift when they speak, I’m a thousand miles away even when I’m in the room each week. I hate that love feels heavy when my mind feels thin, Like I’m always paying debt for the chaos I’m in. [Pre-Chorus] And I know they don’t see how hard it is to stay, When my thoughts pull me under and I fade away. I want to be steady, I want to be true, But I’m losing my edges just to make it through. [Chorus] I just want to focus, let the noise fall away, But the silence gets loud and the hours decay. Adderall helps me lock in, but it takes my shine, Turns me into someone I don’t recognize. I just want to love you without running out of air, But I’m giving so much and there’s nothing left to spare. I’m trying to hold on, trying not to break, What I need to survive might be what makes me fake. [Bridge] Pianos in
