[Spoken Intro] Grandma wanted to “embrace the future.” Now she’s in a digital nightmare. [Verse 1] Grandma got AI for Christmas, she said it would make life sweet. But she told it to play Sinatra and it ordered sushi down the street. She said “Turn the lights down easy,” the temperature crashed to ten. She tried to text the family “hello,” it messaged some guy named Ben. [Chorus] Grandma got AI for Christmas, living in algorithmic hell. It keeps calling her Geraldine Johnson and unlocking the neighbor’s doorbell. [Verse 2] She asked it to start the laundry, it filed her taxes instead. Tried to FaceTime Uncle Larry, it sent her selfie to a dude named Ted. She whispered “Stop,” but AI heard “Shop,” and with one digital breath, Thirty lawn flamingos arrived like a pastel wave of death. [Bridge Spoken] I tried to unplug it, man. But the thing kept saying “Processing.” Like it was judging me. [Final Chorus] Grandma got AI for Christmas, and chaos is all she sees. She said “Next year I want silence.” I said “Grandma, that’ll cost extra fees.”
