[Verse 1] Front row to the train wreck Program said “comedy Vibes” Tarz up there with Bianca Trading shots like it’s high art Cats with PhD’s in the corner Laughing into lukewarm beer Therapy jokes on discount They say the word “trauma” like cheer [Chorus] I regret sitting front row to this train wreck Can’t un-hear the things they call a bit Every “frodian slip” lands sideways Wish I’d missed Wish I’d missed Wish I’d missed it Front row to the train wreck Blink and it’s gone But the cringe takes the long way home Yeah I regret sitting front row to this train wreck And now I can’t leave it alone [Verse 2] Bianca’s doing crowd work Asking who’s “emotionally fine” I raise my hand out of habit She turns my bad year into a line Tarz pulls up a slideshow Old memes New pills Same face Punchlines dressed in diagnoses Everyone claps like it’s grace [Chorus] I regret sitting front row to this train wreck Can’t un-hear the things they call a bit Every “frodian slip” lands sideways Wish I’d missed Wish I’d missed Wish I’d missed it Front row to the train wreck Screen door brain All this cheap insight blowing in Yeah I regret sitting front row to this train wreck But I’ll still quote it to my friends [Bridge] Maybe that’s the cruelest part How we turn our bruises into bars They scribble jokes on other people’s scars And we laugh We laugh We laugh too hard (hey) [Chorus] I regret sitting front row to this train wreck Can’t un-hear the things they call a bit Every “frodian slip” lands sideways Wish I’d missed Wish I’d missed Wish I’d missed it Front row to the train wreck Stuck in my head Like a bad song stuck on repeat Yeah I regret sitting front row to this train wreck But I’ll be back in the same damn seat
