[Intro – slow, dark piano, Discord notification pings, low spoken male voice] "Hi, my credits vanished." "My render's stuck at ninety-nine percent." "Hello? Is anyone actually there?" ... "Please... DM Theo." [Verse 1 – Rapper 1, slow, cold, building] Monday morning and the server's in flames Same broken renders, same usernames Credits evaporate, the queue don't move Pay for the plan, but you got nothing to prove Higgsie slides in with a green little heart "So sorry, babe, let's get you a fresh start" I'm thinking finally, somebody cares — Then she drops the line like she's sweeping the stairs [Pre-Chorus – Rapper 1, half-sung, deadpan] "DM Theo..." "DM Theo..." Everybody's asking — where'd Theo go? [Chorus – female vocal, sweet, melodic, sarcastic customer-service tone] We are looking into it, ooh-ooh We are looking into it, just for you Twenty-four to forty-eight, maybe more Take a ticket, wait outside the door DM Theo, he'll get back to you (He won't) — but we're looking into it too [Verse 2 – Rapper 2, slow at first, then speeding up] So I DM Theo like the mod said to Seen at twelve, but he never came through Back in the server — "Yo, Theo's ghost" Higgsie copy-pastes the same reply post "DM Theo" — mate, I did, I swear "DM Theo" — but he's never there Round and round like a washing machine Same green heart, same scripted routine The Team's in the office singing karaoke Customer's a skeleton, ticket's still pokey Walked in young with a jet-black bun Now my hair's gone grey and it's still not done [Beat break – 8 bars, drums cut, sub bass rises, pings get faster and faster] [Verse 3 – Rapper 1, double-time, aggressive, shouted but controlled] WHO IS THEO? SHOW YOUR FACE! Every ticket I send ends up in the same place Higgsie the moderator, guarding the gate Deletes my comment, then tells me to wait "Looking into it" — looking at WHAT? A blank screen, a coffee and a dancing mutt I been patient, I been polite Now it's midnight and I'm ready to fight Credits gone and the renders broke Your support desk's a stand-up joke So let me say it loud for the server to see — I DM'd Theo... and Higgsie replied to me [Chorus – female vocal, bigger, full strings] We are looking into it, ooh-ooh We are looking into it, just for you Twenty-four to forty-eight, maybe more Take a ticket, wait outside the door DM Theo, he'll get back to you (He won't) — but we're looking into it too [Final Verse – Rapper 1, slow, heavy, every line lands like a hit] Then one night something slipped through the net A message from Theo I'll never forget Deleted in seconds, reposted brand new Same words, same minute — but signed by Higgsie too Switched the account, but the switch was too slow Keko clocked it — and now the whole server knows I walk in calm, no knock on the door Slap the screenshots down — one, two, three, four "Theo at nine. Higgsie at nine-oh-one. Same typo, same emoji — so tell me, which one?" Head goes down, hands up in a prayer "Keko, I'm sorry — I swear, I swear — Sorry I deleted your comment, my bad Sorry for the warnings, sorry you got mad Sorry for the 'DM Theo' every day — Just please don't post the screenshots, okay?" Now it's soft little landings, sweet as can be 'Cause the truth got exposed — and the receipts are with me [Beat stops dead] [Outro – spoken, calm, piano returns] Big red heart ❤️ Higgsie... say you love me. ...We'll look into it.
