Wasi River Bluegrass Treatment Plant

[Intro: Pump starts, banjo tuning] [Spoken Male Lead] Welcome to the treatment plant. Conclusions are not manufactured on site. [Verse 1: Male Lead] Down beside the Wasi River, Where the old pump motors whine, We take a load of human trouble And process it in time. Grief and gravel, greens and gossip, Broken plans and corporate spin, Every batch gets numbered Before the banjos kick it in. [Verse 2: Male Lead] First we screen the names and faces, Catch the things we shouldn’t say, Then the grit chamber sorts the facts From jokes that float away. In the aeration basin, Add a fiddle, stir the air, Put accountability in there! [Chorus: Lead, Female Harmony, Gang] We screen it, strain it, stir it round, Run that banjo underground! Three good chords and a RACI chart, Separate the facts from broken hearts! If the truth comes out a little strange, That’s the treatment plant at work again! [Verse 3: Male Lead] There’s a model in the pump house, There’s a human at the gate, One writes a thousand verses, One decides which ones stay. Regenerate till authentic, Then regenerate once more, Till the fiddle sounds outsourced Through the factory floor. [Spoken Female Lead] Are these characters real people? [Spoken Male Lead] Composite materials. [Spoken Female Lead] And the conclusions? [Spoken Male Lead] We ship the parts. The listener does the assembly. [Banjo Break] [Verse 4: Male Lead] In the secondary clarifier, Let the evidence descend, Keep the facts apart from feelings, Let the audience connect. Disinfect the batch with fiction, Check the rhyme and legal risk, Stamp it for distribution: Residual truth may still exist. [Bridge: Male Lead, Soft Female Harmony] Some things come down the river That no filter makes alright. Some things settle in the silence And stay with you at night. So we give the hurt a rhythm, Give the anger somewhere safe, And turn what we can carry Into something we can play. [Alarm Buzzer] [Spoken Male Lead] Emotional loading exceeds design capacity. Activate auxiliary mandolin. [Frantic Mandolin Solo] [Verse 5: Male Lead] The dashboard’s glowing green, Though the pressure gauge is red, The board has signed the form, The banjo’s running overhead! We don’t make the mess, inspector, We just make the whole mess sing, If somebody finds it irritating, That’s a downstream engineering thing! [Final Chorus: Gang Vocals] We screen it, strain it, stir it round, Run that banjo underground! Three good chords and a RACI chart, Separate the facts from broken hearts! If the truth comes out a little strange, That’s the treatment plant at work again! [Outro] [Spoken Female Lead] Where did this song come from? [Spoken Male Lead] You’re standing in it. [Spoken Female Lead] Is this inspection being recorded? [Spoken Male Lead] For next week’s single. [Spoken Gang Vocals] Recursive influent detected. Treatment cycle restarting. [Whispered Male Lead] Regenerate until it’s authentic. [Hard Stop]