[Intro — whispered conspiracy, rustling fabric] I've made a decision. A very big decision. Mum said, "Clean your room!" Well... I'm leaving the country. [Verse 1 — confidently strumming] I've packed my little bandana, Tied it to a stick, Two biscuits and a rubber band, And one toy dinosaur, Rick. I've got no map, I've got no plan, No money in my shoe, But anywhere is better than That mountain of chores to do! [Chorus — triumphant, handclaps] I'm running away! You'll be sorry someday! You'll wish I'd been allowed to play! You'll miss me so much, you'll cry in your tea, And nobody will clean up my room, especially not me! I'm running away! I've had enough! This home is much too strict with stuff! You'll miss me, you'll miss me, you'll see that it's true! ...Can I take my night-light, too? [Verse 2 — jaunty circus rhythm] I'll join the circus! That's a plan! I'll be the world's smallest strongman! Or maybe ride an elephant, Though I'm not sure I'll like the scent. I'll live in a tent with a trapeze artist, Eat popcorn till I'm round, But if they tell me, "Sweep the tent," I'll pack my stick and leave that town! [Spoken — sudden concern] Do elephants need walking? Who picks up after them? ...Never mind. Next plan. [Verse 3 — jazzy Vegas shuffle] I'll hitch a ride to Las Vegas, Become a magician's apprentice! I'll pull white rabbits from a hat And make my teacher's wallet vanish! I'll learn to saw a lady in half, Make tigers disappear, But if he says, "Now sweep the stage," I'll vanish, too. I'm outta here! [Brief pause — quieter] Though Vegas is a long way... And I don't know how to drive. And what if all the rabbits Need feeding every night? [Chorus — slightly less confident] I'm running away! You'll be sorry someday! You'll wish I'd been allowed to play! You'll miss me so much, you'll cry in your tea, And nobody will clean up my room! You'll see! I'm running away! I'm brave and I'm tough! (Although the road looks sort of rough.) You'll miss me, you'll miss me, you'll see that it's true! ...Does the outside have a bathroom, too? [Verse 4 — dreamy, magical music] I've got it! Disneyland! That's where I'll go! I'll live with the furniture from that show! Beauty and the Beast, where the chairs dance around, And the dishes sing songs while they bounce on the ground! The wardrobe puts clothes away, that's a fact! And the teapot serves tea with cups stacked! The candlestick's tidy, the clocks never moan! I'll live in a castle and never clean home! [Spoken — thinking hard] Wait... the Beast had to clean that whole castle. And there was that enchanted rose... And wolves. Do they have wolves at Disneyland? [Bridge — softer guitar, wobbling resolve] Mum will be sorry she treated me mean, When I'm famous and rich and the world's best magician! She'll say, "Oh, my darling, please come back to me!" And I'll say, "Not until you apologize... profusely!" I'll be brave! I'll be bold! I'll be seven years old... no, wait, that's how old I am. I'll sleep under stars, I'll be free as a bird... [Pause] Do birds have to tidy their nests? [Final Verse — guitar slows, footsteps tapping] I've reached the sidewalk. The world stretches wide. My bandana's all lumpy. There's a stone in my side. The houses look strange. The street looks too long. And I've forgotten my teddy... This whole plan is wrong. Mum's probably wondering Where I've gone to roam. And I haven't had lunch. And I quite like my home. [Spoken — long, dramatic sigh] I could go to the circus... I could go to Vegas... I could live with a teapot... Or I could just clean my room. [Final Chorus — reluctant, grumbling singalong] I'm walking back! This is NOT giving in! It's a tactical change of direction! I still think you're mean! You're the strictest I've seen! But I'm reconsidering my expedition! I'll pick up my socks! I'll put toys in their box! I'll even make the bed if I must! But if I find one spider, I'm calling you in, 'Cause a girl's got to know who to trust! [Outro — footsteps turn around, front door creaks] Mum? I'm back. ...I'll clean my room. But I'm not putting away the dinosaur. He's my second-in-command. And tomorrow, I will probably run away again. [Spoken, from offstage] ...After I've finished my homework. [One final ukulele plink]
