**\[Verse 1]** I woke up late, tripped on my own pants Running for the train, didn’t stand a chance Slipped on nothing, went airborne fast I swear I saw the *past* flash past! **\[Pre-Chorus]** But every time I fall down—I'm fine, it's insane Bounce like a racquetball off my own pain But going *up*? That's where I meet my doom Gravity’s a liar and I’m its cartoon! **\[Chorus]** I fall UP the stairs—how the hell did I do that?! Defy Newton’s law like a gymnastic cat I can tumble down a cliff and still sip some tea But one tiny step up? It’s the end for me! I fall UP the stairs—got a bruise on my pride My shoelace tripped me, my dignity died Stairs ain’t slick, but they know my name I’m the slapstick king in this stairwell game! **\[Verse 2]** Dinner plate fine-juggled through a hallway race Stepped on a sock, nearly warped through space But down the stairs? I’m a hero of grace It's going *up* that slaps my face! **\[Bridge]** Call the priest, call the doc, call a physics prof! Call NASA 'cause this don’t take off! Upstairs ambush me like they're alive Are the stairs conspiring? Man, I won’t survive! **\[Chorus – repeat]** I fall UP the stairs—how the hell did I do that?! Like I’m haunted by a vengeful acrobat I could parkour off a moving train But give me a step, and here comes the pain! I fall UP the stairs—yeah, that’s my tale Call it tragic, slapstick, or just epic fail Down I go, and bounce right back But up I go? *Cue the heart attack!* **\[Outro]** So if you see me climbing slow— It’s not old age, it’s trauma, bro Because I fall UP the stairs... …and science still don’t know. ooooihhhhh nooooooooioo oh.... oh... oh. oof help! help ! help! I'm falling on my arse help! help ! help! I'm falling on my arse help! help ! help! I'm falling on my arse help! help ! help! I'm falling on my arse help! help ! help! I'm falling on my arse help! help ! help! I'm falling on my arse help! help ! help! I'm falling on my arse help! help ! help! I'm falling on my arse help! help ! help! I'm falling on my arse help! help ! help! I'm falling on my arse oh no.... ooooioooy... oof falling up the stairs here we go again....
