Tyndareus the Green sat lonely in his tower, Eyes full of memories, dust and arcane power. “Twenty-five gold pieces,” said the wizard with a sigh, “Bring me back my childhood, Granny’s apple pie.” Overrun by goblins, that country store rots, But nostalgia’s a spell that never quite stops. We took up the job with a shrug and a cheer, Misfits on the road with no sense of fear. Oh roll the dice and seal our fate, Through woods and roads we stagger late. Steel and song and alchemy, For gold, for glory, for pastry! We’re bruised, confused, but still alive… Those Misfits ride for apple pie. Two nights in the wild, the fire burning low, Out of the dark came a bugbear named Kyle, you know. Vivika sang sweet, put him straight to sleep, Then tripped on an orc and woke the brute from his dreams. But charm beats claws when the music is right, She turned fear into love in the dead of night. Kyle wandered off with a sigh and a grin, And we ran like hell before trouble walked in. Oh roll the dice and seal our fate, Through woods and roads we stagger late. Steel and song and alchemy, For gold, for glory, for pastry! We’re bruised, confused, but still alive… Those Misfits ride for apple pie. Mac the tree spoke riddles, roots cracked jokes, We broke down the doors like a band of idiots. Inside that store, pure chaos reigned, Every bad idea immediately sustained. Kojak lit up, mind gone to purple haze, Vivika bled glass but found potions to save. Haas just drooled, staring dead ahead, While Brannik blew shelves apart instead of the safe. Acid hissed, traps failed, half a recipe found, A rune of cold scratched deep underground. Gold in the safe, prybar proved right, And goblins screamed off at the orc in sight. Oh roll the dice and seal our fate, Through splintered wood and goblin screams. Steel and song and alchemy, For gold, for glory, for pastry! We’re bruised, confused, but still alive… Those Misfits ride for apple pie. Chief Chief fled with Toby and Maguire, At the sight of Haas and his vacant stare. Kojak hid in a chest too small to breathe, While Brannik found the rest beneath the leaves. The recipe whole, the desk moved out, A peace offering made with an orc’s brute clout. We stepped outside, thought the job was done, That’s when the bugbears came on the run. Charlie and Brown with murder in mind, Kyle stood fast, love-struck, holding the line. Bombs flew, arrows sang, whispers screamed, Axes missed everything they’d ever dreamed. Cowbell rang, rage ignited, Haas swung wild, fate undecided. But persistence kills what skill cannot, And two bugbears fell where they stood and fought. Oh roll the dice and seal our fate, Blood on the road, luck running late. Steel and song and alchemy, For gold, for glory, for pastry! We’re bruised, confused, but still alive… Those Misfits ride for apple pie. Kyle lived on, love in his eyes, Vivika vanished ‘neath moonlit skies. Haas went still, the storm burned out, And we turned back home with no real doubt. Back at the tower, the pie was made, Crust flaked perfect, memories saved. Gold was paid, but the wizard smirked, Pulled out a watch with a past that lurked. “Smuggled from prison,” he said with pride, “Kept it safe way down inside.” Brannik wrapped it in a leaf real slow, Handed it to Kojak, “Don’t ask, just go.” So roll the dice, whatever comes, From goblin dens to wizard bums. Steel and song and alchemy, For gold, for glory, for pastry! We’re broke, we’re dumb, but still alive… Those Misfits ride… for apple pie.
