**Intro** [eerie music box melody plays alone, slow and unsettling, distant echoing laughter sample, low horror-movie bass drone creeps in underneath, tempo feels slow at first, then trap-influenced 808 sub bass and a sluggish half-time drum pattern drop in hard] **Verse 1** [half-time dragging delivery at first, sinister and deliberate tone contrasted with comedic words] Bought my sanity off a website with bad reviews Box said "batteries not included," should've read the fine print, dude Opened it up and found a note that said "good luck, you'll need it" Same day it started glitching, now I talk to furniture and feed it Doctor looked concerned, I said "relax, it's under warranty" He said "sir, that's not how mental health works, respectfully" I said "well the internet said differently, and the internet's never wrong" That's the last thing I remember before I started writing this song **Pre Hook** [building tension, whispered rising into a shout, drums doubling in intensity] Something's happening, I can feel it in my chest [building:] Getting louder, getting closer, I don't know what happens next [shout:] HERE IT COMES **Hook** [melodic-shouted, catchy and chant-like, half-time groove opens into double-time energy] I got that off-brand sanity, generic peace of mind Store brand happiness, was on sale, it was a steal, I don't mind Off-brand sanity, might be missing a few parts But it's cheaper than the real thing and it still kind of works, in parts (Ad-lib:) Off-brand! Off-brand! Read the label if you dare, there's a warning but I skipped it (Ad-lib:) Off-brand! Off-brand! No returns, no exchanges, and apparently it's non-refundable **Post Hook** [short spoken deadpan tag over a beat pause] [spoken:] "Some assembly required. Batteries not included. Sanity not guaranteed." **Verse 2** [double-time flow, noticeably faster than verse 1, energy rising, comedic and rapid-fire] Now I'm double-timing thoughts before my mouth can even catch 'em Brain's running at a speed my mouth was never built to match 'em Started narrating my whole life in third person for a week Got weird looks at the grocery store, apparently that's a bit unique Tried to return the sanity, the store said "no can do" "Once it's opened it's opened, sir, that's just how these things go through" So now I'm stuck with the discount model, running on a prayer Held together with duct tape and whatever's floating in the air **Pre Hook** [same rising build, faster than the first time] Something's happening, I can feel it in my chest [building:] Getting louder, getting closer, I don't know what happens next [shout:] HERE IT COMES AGAIN **Hook** [bigger, fuller, more gang vocals layered on top] I got that off-brand sanity, generic peace of mind Store brand happiness, was on sale, it was a steal, I don't mind Off-brand sanity, might be missing a few parts But it's cheaper than the real thing and it still kind of works, in parts (Ad-lib:) Off-brand! Off-brand! Read the label if you dare, there's a warning but I skipped it (Ad-lib:) Off-brand! Off-brand! No returns, no exchanges, and apparently it's non-refundable **Post Hook** [same spoken tag, delivered faster and more manic this time] [spoken, faster:] "Some assembly required! Batteries NOT included! Sanity NOT guaranteed!" **Skit** [fake late-night infomercial parody over a quiet beat loop, overly enthusiastic announcer voice] [announcer voice:] "Tired of your expensive, name-brand sanity? Introducing... Off-Brand Sanity! Now with forty percent more coping mechanisms!" [a second, tired voice interrupts:] "...it's just denial in a bigger box." [announcer voice:] "Call now, operators are judging you but standing by!" [beat drops back in hard] **Verse 3** [fastest and tightest verse, tongue-twisting internal rhyme, comedic climax] I'm a walking disclaimer, a warning label with a pulse Results may vary, individual experience may not be typical, that's on the box I've accepted that my brain's a discount store on a Tuesday Half the shelves are empty and the other half's on layaway But if crazy comes off-brand and off-brand still gets the job done Then I'll take the knockoff sanity, at least it's kind of fun **Final Hook** [loudest, most chaotic, full chant-style ending] I got that off-brand sanity, generic peace of mind Store brand happiness, was on sale, it was a steal, I don't mind Off-brand sanity, might be missing a few parts But it's cheaper than the real thing and it still kind of works, in parts (all:) Off-brand! Off-brand! Off-brand! Off-brand! **Outro** [beat strips away completely, the eerie music box melody from the intro returns, slowing down and warping as if running out of batteries, distant echoing laughter returns once more and fades into silence] **End**
