OPS WE BURNED THE HOUSE ZYRO [Intro — Cozy Christmas Music, Crackling Fireplace] [Deep, Calm Spoken Voice] Christmas Eve. Whole family’s here. Dinner’s almost ready. What could possibly go wrong? [Smoke Alarm Beeps] …Oh, shit. [Massive 808 Drop] [Chorus — Aggressive, Catchy Rhythmic Rap] Oops! We burned the house! Santa better turn around! Smoke in the kitchen, everybody running out, Merry fucking Christmas— What the hell is happening now? Oops! We burned the house! Grandma screaming way too loud! Turkey’s black, tree fell down, We just turned December Into the hottest night in town! [Post-Chorus — Bouncing Bass, Shouted Ad-Libs] HOT! HOT! HOT! Somebody grab a pot! STOP! DROP! WHAT?! That’s definitely not snow! [Verse 1 — Deep, Sarcastic Storytelling] Seven in the evening, everybody dressed in red, Uncle’s telling stupid jokes, got a headache in my head. Mom is yelling from the kitchen, “Can you check the fucking roast?” Dad is drinking in the corner, making yet another toast. Little cousin got a drum set, making everybody deaf, Grandma’s arguing with Google about a Christmas cookie recipe. Got the dog beneath the table eating everything he sees, And my brother’s in the hallway hanging lights around the tree. [Flow Switch — Rapid, Playful] Ding-dong, sing-song, dinner’s taking too long, Eggnog, watchdog, something smells a little wrong. Click-clack, step back, oven looking pitch-black, Somebody open up a window— WHY’S THE SMOKE ALARM ATTACK?! [Pre-Chorus — Deep, Increasing Panic] Mom said, “Check the turkey!” Dad said, “It looks fine!” Grandma took one look and said— [Grandma — Distant Shout] THAT BIRD HAS FUCKING DIED TWICE! [Beat Stops] [ZYRO] …Fair point. [Chorus — Explosive 808 Bass] Oops! We burned the house! Santa better turn around! Smoke in the kitchen, everybody running out, Merry fucking Christmas— What the hell is happening now? Oops! We burned the house! Grandma screaming way too loud! Turkey’s black, tree fell down, We just turned December Into the hottest night in town! [Verse 2 — Ultra-Fast Technical Rap] Got a culinary catastrophe, a festive little tragedy, A highly flammable example of domestic holiday insanity. The kitchen’s full of smoke and everybody’s losing gravity, My uncle’s filming everything instead of helping with the emergency! [Rapid-Fire Multisyllabic Flow] Overcooking, overlooking, everybody’s busy looking, Christmas pudding, smoke accumulating, nobody knows what they’re doing. Evacuation, complication, neighborhood investigation, Fire brigade arriving for a seasonal celebration! [Flow Switch — Aggressive, Rhythmic] Red lights, blue lights, flashing through the snow, Neighbors standing outside putting on a Christmas show. Got the dog in my arms, got my phone in my hand, Got my cousin asking, “Can we still open presents, man?” [Beat Switch — Half-Time] Firefighters checking everything, making sure we’re safe, One of them looks at the turkey with a very serious face. Says, “The house is standing, but your dinner didn’t make it.” I said, “Can we order pizza?” He said, “Buddy, I would take it.” [Breakdown — Music Box, Deep Spoken Voice] So… Nobody’s hurt. The house is still standing. Dinner’s dead. [Pause] And Grandma wants to know Who’s paying for the pizza. [Doorbell Rings] [ZYRO — Laughing] Merry Christmas, everybody! [Final Chorus — Explosive, Layered Vocals] Oops! We burned the house! Santa better turn around! Smoke in the kitchen, everybody running out, Merry fucking Christmas— What the hell is happening now? Oops! We burned the house! Grandma screaming way too loud! Turkey’s black, tree fell down, We just turned December Into the hottest night in town! [Post-Chorus — Final Bouncing Bass] HOT! HOT! HOT! Somebody grab a pot! STOP! DROP! WHAT?! That’s definitely not snow! [Outro — Deep, Dry Spoken Voice] Next year… We’re ordering takeout. [Pause] And nobody’s touching the oven. Especially Dad. ZYRO. [Smoke Alarm Beep — Hard Cut]
