DAY 9 – ROLL CALL [Intro] Attention please… Welcome to the Day 9 roll call. We’re looking for… Garmin battery… Flat. Motivation… Missing. Left quad… Questionable. Right calf… Under investigation. Sleep… Nowhere to be found. Common sense… Left sometime around Day 4. If you’ve seen any of these… Please direct them our way ⸻ [Verse 1] Welcome to Day 9, now the game’s gone deep, Everybody talks tough till the alarm don’t beep. Started with a crowd, now they’re dropping each day, The mountain keeps asking, “Who’s next to fade?” “Garmin died…” “Battery flat…” “Phone lost signal…” “Imagine that.” “Had a work thing…” “Kids were wild…” “Dog ate my schedule…” “Needed a lie-down.” “Bit too windy…” “Bit too wet…” “Thought I’d skip…” “My biggest regret.” One hit 899… One more metre… Now you’re telling everybody, “It was close…” Yeah, we believe ya. Forgot Start. Forgot Save. Climbed the whole damn hill and got absolutely played. ⸻ [Chorus] Day 9… Who’s still alive? Run. Hike. Survive. The hill don’t care. The clock don’t wait. Every excuse… Shows up too late. ⸻ [Verse 2] “Knee’s a bit sore…” “Back feels tight…” “I’ll knock it over…” “Tomorrow night.” “Boss called…” “Traffic jam…” “Moon’s in retrograde…” “Yeah? I don’t give a damn.” “Watch froze…” “GPS drift…” “Bluetooth…” “What a gift.” “Too much rain…” “Too much sun…” “Didn’t realise…” “It needed to be done.” Everybody’s got a reason. Nobody’s got extra time. You’ve got one job. Nine hundred vert. Find a hill. Stop negotiating. Run it. Hike it. Survive it. ⸻ [Bridge] Still here? Count ’em… One… That’s It Anti Chafe. Two… Merrell NZ. One hundred and forty bucks off. Three… Kinisi. Fifteen percent off. Four… Huntaway Run Co. Twenty percent off. Five… Mountain Skag. Twenty percent off. Six… A Crush the Cargill 100 Mile entry. Worth every sore quad. ⸻ [Final Verse] Tomorrow it’s a thousand. Then eleven hundred. Then twelve. Then thirteen. The mountain doesn’t care. The weather doesn’t care. Your excuses don’t count. Your vert does. So charge the watch. Tie the laces. Hit Start. Run. Hike. Survive. We’ll see you… At tomorrow’s roll call.
