(Verse) Step right up to the velvet curtain of the void Where the ringmaster’s teeth have all been destroyed We got a monkey in a tuxedo selling bad advice And a fortune teller who’ll tell you the price Of a yesterday sunset wrapped in a sack Bought from a hobo who ain't coming back The tuba is groaning a flat-note prayer While the sawdust is dancing in the stagnant air. (Verse) There’s a sign on the highway, it’s written in tar “Jesus Saves Coupons for a brand new car” But the tires are square and the engine is lead And the driver’s a mannequin named Uncle Fred He’s reading the news from a paper of rust While the wind turns the map into a pillar of dust And the popcorn is popping like a rhythmic decay In a theater where nobody’s getting away. (Chorus) Oh, the midway is crooked, the Ferris wheel’s jammed Everybody’s crowded and everybody’s damned Spin the wheel of fortune, watch the colors collide There’s nowhere to run and there’s nowhere to hide Just a beautiful mess in a coat made of lint Spending your life just to pay for the squint. (Verse) The strongman is fragile, he’s lifting a feather Trying to hold back the change in the weather While the lady of mystery, she’s losing her mind Looking for a shadow she left behind She’s stitching the clouds with a needle of bone Sitting on a throne that she carved out of stone And the peanuts are salty, the beer is all flat And the magician just pulled out a hole in his hat. (Verse) The barker is hoarse, he’s screaming at ghosts Posing as statues on fence-wire posts He’s taking our dimes and he’s giving us static The whole damn operation is purely cinematic But the film’s catching fire and the screen’s melting down The prettiest wreck in this part of the town So tip your top hat to the mess on the floor And don’t even bother looking for the door. (Chorus) Oh, the midway is crooked, the Ferris wheel’s jammed Everybody’s crowded and everybody’s damned Spin the wheel of fortune, watch the colors collide There’s nowhere to run and there’s nowhere to hide Just a beautiful mess in a coat made of lint Spending your life just to pay for the squint. Oh, the midway is crooked, the Ferris wheel’s jammed Everybody’s crowded and everybody’s damned Spin the wheel of fortune, watch the colors collide There’s nowhere to run and there’s nowhere to hide Just a beautiful mess in a coat made of lint Spending your life just to pay for the squint. (Outro) (The tuba lets out a long, wheezing fart-like note. The piano does a frantic, out-of-tune trill that descends into silence.) Admission’s a nickel. The exit is free. But you gotta leave your skin. With me. (A final, sharp trumpet stab.) Next!
