Another fucking magical Morning

And so, as the first golden rays touched the kingdom, every little creature gathered beneath her window, eager to welcome their beloved princess to another beautiful, magical day… If any of you start singing, I’m setting the fucking forest on fire. Sunlight creeping through my window, Golden rays across my bed, Little birds are singing sweetly, God, I wish that I were dead. Squirrels brought my fucking slippers, Rabbits cleaned the floor somehow, Seven deer are at my window— Could you all just fuck off now? Another fucking morning, Another perfect sky, Another little bluebird I wish would fucking die. The flowers bloom around me, The sun begins to shine, If one more squirrel starts singing, I swear I’ll lose my mind. The bluebirds stole my blankets, Then they fucking brushed my hair, A rabbit brought me flowers— So I threw them down the stairs. Prince Charming climbed my balcony, Said, “Darling, what a day!” I kicked him in the fucking chest And watched him fly away. Another fucking morning, Another perfect sky, Another little bluebird I wish would fucking die. The flowers bloom around me, The sun begins to shine, If one more squirrel starts singing, I swear I’ll lose my mind. Maybe somewhere there’s a kingdom Where the birds don’t fucking sing, Where no woodland creature dresses me Or tells me anything. No enchanted little helpers, No more sunshine in my eyes— Just a dark and quiet bedroom With the curtains closed till five. Another fucking morning, Another perfect sky, Another little bluebird I wish would fucking die. The flowers bloom around me, The sun begins to shine, If one more squirrel starts singing, I swear I’ll lose my mind.