WHAT’S UP WITH THESE CROP CIRCLES IN MY BACK YARD?

**[Intro – Country Radio Voice]** Well, damn… I woke up this morning… And my damn cornfield looked like somebody landed a spaceship in it. **[Alien Vocal]** *BEEEEEP—WE COME IN PEACE!* *…Mostly.* **[Verse 1]** Rolled outta bed at six AM, Coffee in my hand and my boots on again, Walked out back and I damn near fell— There’s a giant-ass circle where my cornfield was swell! My tractor’s sideways, my chickens fled, My old dog’s barking at the sky overhead, My neighbor yelled, “TIM, WHAT THE HELL?!” I said, “I DON’T KNOW, BUT SOMETHING AIN’T WELL!” **[Chorus]** What’s up with these crop circles in my backyard? Who the hell came down here and worked this hard? Ain’t no tractor, ain’t no truck, Ain’t no farmer with that kinda luck! What’s up with these crop circles in my backyard? Aliens dancing like they’re hitting the bar! Corn’s all twisted, the cows look scared— I think extraterrestrials just moved in here! **[Alien Hook]** *ZORP-ZORP! WE LIKE YOUR FARM!* *TAKE US TO THE BARN!* *WE SAW YOUR BBQ—* *HUMAN FOOD IS CHARMMMMM!* **[Verse 2]** I grabbed my shotgun—then I thought, “Nah,” Probably shouldn’t shoot at something from Mars, So I grabbed my phone and started to record, Then a green little dude walked right through my porch! He had three eyes and a cowboy hat, Said, “Greetings, Earthling, where the hell you at?” I said, “You’re standing in my damn yard!” He said, “Correct! Your planet is bizarre!” Then another alien jumped from the shed, Started doing line dances around my flower bed, My rooster screamed, my wife screamed too, And that little green bastard yelled, “YEE-HAW, BOO!” **[Chorus]** What’s up with these crop circles in my backyard? Who the hell came down here and worked this hard? Ain’t no tractor, ain’t no truck, Ain’t no farmer with that kinda luck! What’s up with these crop circles in my backyard? Aliens dancing like they’re hitting the bar! Corn’s all twisted, the cows look scared— I think extraterrestrials just moved in here! **[Bridge – Alien Breakdown]** *ATTENTION, HUMAN FARMER!* *WE HAVE BAD NEWS.* “What?” *YOUR CORN IS VERY DELICIOUS.* “Okay…” *WE ATE ALL OF IT.* “YOU ATE MY WHOLE DAMN FIELD?!” *…YES.* “WHY?!” *WE WERE HIGHLY HUNGRY.* **[Final Verse]** Now there’s six little aliens sitting on my tractor, One stole my boots and another stole my hat, sir, One’s drinking sweet tea, one’s eating pie, One’s trying to teach my damn cow how to fly! I looked at the sky and said, “Y’all come back?” They said, “ABSOLUTELY!” then they vanished like that, Left one giant message carved into the ground: **“THANKS FOR THE CORN. YOUR PLANET IS WEIRD.”** **[Final Chorus]** What’s up with these crop circles in my backyard? This damn farm life just got real bizarre! Aliens came down, tore my corn apart, Then left me a note saying, “YOU’RE A SUPERSTAR!” What’s up with these crop circles in my backyard? I guess Earth hospitality ain’t that hard! If they come back, I’m locking the door— Unless they bring barbecue… **[Alien Outro]** *YEE-HAW, EARTHLING!* *WE SHALL RETURN!* *BRING MORE CORN!* *AND… CHEESE FRIES.* **[Country Voice]** Hell no. I’m moving.