[Verse 1] Right, sat here in the lounge, curtains drawn, no shame, Got the Aero Avante chassis spread across the coffee table again, Last night's kebab grease still on the controller, fingers black from the diff oil, Mum goes "Turn that bleedin' thing off, it's like living in a Scalextric brothel" But nah, this ain't Scalextric, this is four-wheel drive fury, Twin Mabuchi motors screaming like they're on the sniff, I spent me last twenty on FRP multi-roll bars and a speed gear set, Now the little bastard's cornering so hard it nearly leaves the slot—wait, no slots, that's the point innit? [Pre-chorus] Mate texts me: "You coming down the leisure centre Sunday? Big regional, prize is a boxed Frog Jr" I reply "Course bruv, got me new sponge tyres soaking in oil, gonna smoke ya" But deep down I'm bricking it, last time the front wing buckled on the banked bend, Car ended up in three pieces like me dignity after too many brandies [Chorus — sung half-melodic, half mumbled, with a soul sample chopped in the background] Has it come to this? Oh, oh, oh, oh Mini Tamiya racing, lock down your aerial Has it come to this? Four AA batteries and a dream Sharp darts on the plastic, mate, it's obscene Has it come to this? Me life's in the pits now, literally [Verse 2 snippet] See, it started innocent, Christmas '99, Dad got me the Super Wild Mini 4WD kit, Snapped it together in an hour, no glue needed, pure bliss, Ten years later I'm drilling holes in the motor mount at 3 a.m., Trying to shave another 0.2 seconds off the lap, this is sickness The track's got more grip than me love life, I'm addicted to the buzz, When that little plastic shell hits the loop clean—pure drugs But then some kid with a carbon fibre-reinforced undercowl smokes me straight, And I'm stood there gutted like I just lost me bird in the pub again
