Mystic Wack by Wackside

[Opening – low voice, smoke-filled room]

Sign on the door say “Answers, No Refunds”
Didn’t say privacy.
That’s important later.

⸻

[Part One – Setting the Scam]

Curtain half torn, candle drip wax like sweat,
Crystal ball fogged, hasn’t worked right yet
I shuffle cards slow, act like I know,
Spirit tap table like “go ahead, bro”

Room smell like incense and bad decisions,
Clock stuck at midnight — superstition
I ask your name, spirit already know it,
Correct my tone when I try to slow it

I clear my throat, fake mystic stance,
Spirit laugh like “yeah, this your chance”
Ball light up wrong, glowin’ cheap red,
First thing it show me? Somebody else’s bed

⸻

[Part Two – Spirits Oversharing]

I say “future love,” spirit say “nah,”
Then start listin’ people you swore you forgot
Hotel rooms, bar stools, last call lies,
Dates don’t match, spirit roll eyes

I wince like “easy,” spirit lean in,
Tell me who texted while you were in
They name receipts, times, locations,
Even your excuses — word-for-word quotations

Cards flip backwards, symbols rude,
One card just say “you knew”
I try to spin it mystical, soft, polite,
Spirit shout “SHE CHEATED TWICE”

⸻

[Interruption – Wackside losing control]

Table shake, chair slide back,
I knock over glass — that’s on me, facts
Spirit argue who gets next,
Like vultures fightin’ over context

One whisper slow, one yell details,
One bring up habits you won’t tell
I say “balance,” spirit say “truth,”
Then mention that thing you do in the booth

I cover the ball, it glow through cloth,
Spirit say “nah, we not done talkin’”
Candles lean toward you like they curious too,
Whole room judge silently but rude

⸻

[Part Three – The Reading Gets Personal]

I squint real hard, act professional,
Spirit ignore me, get confessional
They mention money you hide off books,
That “just once” habit you swore you shook

They bring up nights you don’t remember well,
And mornings you swore you’d never tell
I shake my head like “don’t blame me,”
Spirit nod like “this accountability”

You say “stop,” spirit say “finish,”
This ain’t prophecy — this is witness
Ball crack light, hum get deep,
Spirit say “that secret keep you from sleep”

⸻

[Part Four – Closing the Booth]

I slap the table, end the show,
Spirit annoyed but let it go
They fade out laughin’, satisfied,
Room warm again — tension died

I wipe my paint, avoid your stare,
Say “session over,” air still heavy there
I flip the sign, lock the latch,
Add fine print: “I don’t control the dead”

⸻

[Outro – quiet, uneasy humor]

Crystal ball dim, but not quiet,
Still mutterin’ like “you lied about Friday”
I unplug it, it glow anyway…

I don’t tell fortunes.
I survive ‘em.

2674/7500

[Opening – low voice, smoke-filled room] Sign on the door say “Answers, No Refunds” Didn’t say privacy. That’s important later. ⸻ [Part One – Setting the Scam] Curtain half torn, candle drip wax like sweat, Crystal ball fogged, hasn’t worked right yet I shuffle cards slow, act like I know, Spirit tap table like “go ahead, bro” Room smell like incense and bad decisions, Clock stuck at midnight — superstition I ask your name, spirit already know it, Correct my tone when I try to slow it I clear my throat, fake mystic stance, Spirit laugh like “yeah, this your chance” Ball light up wrong, glowin’ cheap red, First thing it show me? Somebody else’s bed ⸻ [Part Two – Spirits Oversharing] I say “future love,” spirit say “nah,” Then start listin’ people you swore you forgot Hotel rooms, bar stools, last call lies, Dates don’t match, spirit roll eyes I wince like “easy,” spirit lean in, Tell me who texted while you were in They name receipts, times, locations, Even your excuses — word-for-word quotations Cards flip backwards, symbols rude, One card just say “you knew” I try to spin it mystical, soft, polite, Spirit shout “SHE CHEATED TWICE” ⸻ [Interruption – Wackside losing control] Table shake, chair slide back, I knock over glass — that’s on me, facts Spirit argue who gets next, Like vultures fightin’ over context One whisper slow, one yell details, One bring up habits you won’t tell I say “balance,” spirit say “truth,” Then mention that thing you do in the booth I cover the ball, it glow through cloth, Spirit say “nah, we not done talkin’” Candles lean toward you like they curious too, Whole room judge silently but rude ⸻ [Part Three – The Reading Gets Personal] I squint real hard, act professional, Spirit ignore me, get confessional They mention money you hide off books, That “just once” habit you swore you shook They bring up nights you don’t remember well, And mornings you swore you’d never tell I shake my head like “don’t blame me,” Spirit nod like “this accountability” You say “stop,” spirit say “finish,” This ain’t prophecy — this is witness Ball crack light, hum get deep, Spirit say “that secret keep you from sleep” ⸻ [Part Four – Closing the Booth] I slap the table, end the show, Spirit annoyed but let it go They fade out laughin’, satisfied, Room warm again — tension died I wipe my paint, avoid your stare, Say “session over,” air still heavy there I flip the sign, lock the latch, Add fine print: “I don’t control the dead” ⸻ [Outro – quiet, uneasy humor] Crystal ball dim, but not quiet, Still mutterin’ like “you lied about Friday” I unplug it, it glow anyway… I don’t tell fortunes. I survive ‘em.

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