(Man! Give me the D-minor of destiny! ONE, TWO, ONE-TWO-SIX-SIX-SIX!) Skiddly-dee-da-da-DAAAARKNESS! I traded my sandals for a pair of spiked iron boots I’m digging up the garden and I’m eating the forbidden roots He didn't order my steps, he just greased up the chute And pushed me down to where the demons play the flute! (Watch out for the lava, Man! It's spicy!) Oh, I'm sliding down the sulfur slide for my soul He stoked the furnace and he’s cooking me whole Through the pits of brimstone, I’m gonna lose control 'Cause his pitchfork’s in me This is Satan’s plan for my soul! (Yeah! To the depths!) No holy water sprinkler can stop this wicked jam I’m sharing pickled peppers with the King of the Damned He covers me daily in a layer of soot While I’m massage-y-ing the bunions on his hairy goat foot! (Diddly-diddle-dee-dee-DEATH!) Man! Look at the size of that three-headed hound! He’s chewing on a leg he just pulled from the ground! I’m high-fiving Beelzebub, we’re doing the twist With a list of my sins wrapped around my charred wrist! (SAY IT WITH ME, MAN! SAY HIS NAME!) In the light of the morning star A truth was revealed from afar The master of shadows, the lord of belief His name isn't Satan... it's just Steve. STEVE! THE ACCOUNTANT OF AGONY! LUCIFER! BEELZEBUB! ASMODEUS! STEVE! GRIND THE BONES! STOKE THE COALS! EAT THE FORBIDDEN CHEESE! RAAAAAAARGH! MAN, THE HEAT IS EXCELLENT FOR MY SINUSES! SHRED THE ACCORDION OF DOOM! I'm sliding down the sulfur slide for my soul (Whu-pah!) Up from the abyss and I’m losing all control No halo-wearing choir’s gonna make me feel whole 'Cause he brands me daily This is Steve's plan for my soul! (STEVE! HE'S THE MAN! THE MAN WITH THE SENSIBLE SLACKS!) Yeah. That’s the stuff. Pass the pitchfork, Man. (SKIDDLY-BOP-BOP-BURN!)
