Drunk Enough to Almost Love

[Verse 1] I learned young how to stay busy Keep my hands full so my head stays quiet If I slow down, it all comes back Every bad choice I never tried to fight I want you right now Not love — don’t dress it up like that I just don’t wanna sit here alone With the things I know I can’t take back Don’t say my name like it matters It don’t mean what it used to mean I’ve been good at takin’ pieces of people And leavin’ before they see me bleed I don’t know how to want you right Without needin’ you for the wrong damn reasons I just know the night feels louder When I’m sober and I’m breathin’ [Chorus] And I woke up in the kitchen again Cold floor, head still buzzin’ Tryin’ to remember what I said Tryin’ to feel like I’m somethin’ Yeah, I was drunk on runnin’ From every thought I couldn’t face All night lookin’ for relief Just to wake up the same [Verse 2] I’ve laid next to women who wanted me Still stared at the ceiling alone Funny how closeness feels distant When your heart’s already gone Bathroom mirror don’t lie to me It knows every road I burned That ain’t tired in my eyes this mornin’ That’s lessons I never learned People think I’m holdin’ it together ’Cause I don’t ever break in public Truth is I just swallow it down Till it feels familiar in my stomach I don’t hate the drink or the pills They never said they’d save my life It’s the mornings I can’t outrun That cut me sharper than the nights [Chorus] And I woke up in the kitchen again Sunlight hittin’ like blame Coffee cold, room still spinnin’ Tryin’ not to say your name Yeah, I was drunk on runnin’ From the man I know I am All night beggin’ for quiet Just to wake up the same [Bridge] (half-spoken, tight rhythm) I don’t need a savior I need to slow down But the dark feels honest And the quiet feels loud [Outro] One day I’ll learn how to sit with myself And not reach for someone just to feel okay Till then, I keep leavin’ pieces behind me And wakin’ up the same damn way