Witness Protection Socks

🎵 “Witness Protection Socks” 🎵 Verse 1 I put two socks in the washer, But only one came back, Guess the other one’s undercover, Changing names and wearing black. Got a closet full of loners, Single socks without a pair, They’ve all gone into hiding, Like they vanished in thin air! Chorus Why do socks vanish, Like they’re in witness protection? Hiding out with secrets, In some secret sock dimension. Oh they slip into the shadows, Without leaving no confession— Why do socks vanish, Like they’re in witness protection? Verse 2 I checked under the dryer, And behind the laundry door, But they’re out there with dark glasses, And trench coats they adore. Yeah, they’re sipping on espresso, Planning out their next disguise, Meanwhile my cold bare toes, Are the victims of their lies! Chorus Why do socks vanish, Like they’re in witness protection? Hiding out with secrets, In some secret sock dimension. Oh they slip into the shadows, Without leaving no confession— Why do socks vanish, Like they’re in witness protection? Bridge They’ve got new names, New IDs, Living safely overseas… While I’m stuck here, With just one shoe, Wonderin’ what the heck I’m gonna do! Final Chorus Why do socks vanish, Like they’re in witness protection? Slippin’ through the laundry, Avoidin’ detection. Oh, the mystery of the dryer, A conspiracy connection— Why do socks vanish, Like they’re in witness protection? Outro (spoken) “Ladies and gentlemen, If you see my socks out there in the wild, Tell ‘em I just want my pair back.” 🎤🧦