[Verse 1] Ol' Joe walked in, boots all muddy, Grinned so wide, his teeth looked cruddy. Sat down at the bar, ordered a brew, But the air turned thick, and the paint peeled too. Folks ran screaming, their eyes on fire, The jukebox sparked, the chords went dire. [Chorus] He's got toxic toots, a biological crime, Clearing out rooms in record time. Scientists in hazmat, they can't get near, Ol' Joe's farts could end your career. [Verse 2] Down at the lab, they called in the best, But one by one, they failed the test. The goggles fogged, alarms went wild, "Contain the subject!" they cried, defiled. A beaker shattered, the floor turned green, A test tube exploded like a war-time scene. [Prechorus] They tried to study, but they all fell back, Joe’s emissions launched a full-on attack. [Chorus] He's got toxic toots, a chemical blast, Turning fresh paint to a molten past. His "wind" ain't kind, it's a gas that scars, Ol' Joe’s farts could knock out Mars. [Bridge] They wrapped him up in a steel-tight room, But the walls warped fast, and the air spelled doom. A scientist muttered, "We can't survive, His flatulence is eating us alive!" From the swamp of his gut rose a sulfurous sound, Melting lab coats, knocking folks down. [Chorus] He's got toxic toots, a biological crime, Clearing out rooms in record time. Scientists in hazmat, they can't get near, Ol' Joe's farts could end your career. [Original suno/honorablejay folk-country-twang type tune - remix jlenarddetroit as a blues track. If honorablejay was/is really honorable he will retract these untrue rumors about ME (these are Jokes people) and retract his song - as it was the Dog, all along!! LOL. Credit where credit due: honorablejay.]
