It Feels Good Not To Perform [Version 3]

[Verse 1] In a room full of voices, I fold into the chair, smiling just enough so no one stares. Nervous hands under the table hide, counting exits, keeping thoughts inside. I laugh when they laugh — a little too slow, hoping they don’t see what I don’t show. ⸻ [Pre-Chorus] When someone asks, “How are you, for real?” my tongue forgets how honesty feels. ⸻ [Chorus] I smile so wide till it’s hurting me, a borrowed version of who they see. But when the hallway light clicks off at home, and you both breathe near — I’m not alone. I smile so wide it starts to shake — but with you it’s real… and that’s enough to make me stay. ⸻ [Verse 2] I track the noise, the timing, the cues, what to say, and what I’ll lose. And if someone knocks close to where I break, I joke, I dodge — whatever it takes. Most days I shoulder things you never see, pretending the cracks don’t belong to me. ⸻ [Bridge] Door unlocks — coat off, heart spills, finally quiet after holding still. You touch my cheek like, “you’re safe to be here,” and my daughter squeals — fear disappears. It feels… good to not perform. ⸻ [Final Chorus] I smile so wide till it barely holds, trying to fit into stories told. But you see the parts that bend and ache — the nights I lose sleep, the mornings I shake. And suddenly I’m not wrong — just learning me. Your love makes space where I can breathe. I smile so wide… but this time it’s mine. ⸻ [Outro] Here I can breathe. Here I can stay. With you — I’m okay.