Aussie Critters

(Verse 1) Well, welcome to Australia, mate, It's bloody paradise, But everything around you here Just wants to end your life. From spiders big as dinner plates, To snakes curled in your dunny, You think you're tough? You’ll bloody learn, This country ain't so funny! (Chorus) It's the land of deadly critters, Where everything bites your bum. Yeah, they'll nip ya, zap ya, sting ya, mate, 'Til you're screaming for your mum. Crocodiles and funnel webs, Jellyfish galore, You survive a week Down Under, You're a legend evermore! (Verse 2) Went swimming at the beach one day, Thought "she'll be right, no drama!" But box jellyfish were lurkin', mate, Nearly met me bloody karma. Then a blue-ringed octopus, Just winked at me and smiled, Said, "step one foot closer, champ, I'll see ya in a while." (Chorus) It's the land of deadly critters, Everything bites your bum, They’ll nip ya, zap ya, sting ya, mate, 'Til you're screaming for your mum. Redbacks hiding in your boots, Bull ants at your door, Survive a week Down Under, You're a legend evermore! (Bridge) Even bloody kangaroos, You think they're cute, I bet, But cross one in the bush, my friend, You'll cop a flying kick to the head. Don't get me started on the birds, Bloody magpies swoopin’ through, Forget lions, tigers, bears, oh my, The Aussie wildlife's after you! (Verse 3) But despite all the danger here, Us Aussies don't complain, We just crack another coldie, And laugh away the pain. 'Cause living here's a gamble, mate, We shrug and just accept, That Mother Nature’s got it in, For anyone inept. (Chorus) It's the land of deadly critters, They'll gladly bite your bum, They nip ya, zap ya, sting ya, mate, 'Til you're screaming for your mum. Sharks and snakes and crocs, oh shit, Life here ain't a bore, Survive a week Down Under, mate, You're a legend evermore! (Outro) Yeah, she'll bite ya, sting ya, kill ya quick, But truth be told, we're proud, ’Cause surviving all these Aussie beasts, Makes us bloody well endowed!