What Survival Means

[Intro - faint running bass like a heartbeat, synths swell] [Verse 1 - Sorrowful, breathy, deeply melodic] It replays every night—no escape, cannot flee,Never saw his face—dark swallowed all of me. Pinned hard against tile—cold ceramic scene Pressed to the wall—silent, unseen Then I curled tight, knees close to my chest Stared at the floor—too broken to protest Shower floor freezing—waiting for the end Then that last cruel act—meant to break, offend Something warm hit my skin as I huddled alone Made me feel less than human—dirt, nothing, stone Years have gone by—I’m safe now, I know But my mind is a cage that won’t let it go Twenty-three years old, fully grown in the light But I wake up drenched in the dead of the night And the terror hits hard—my grip slips away I lose all control where the dark shadows play Not happening now—but my body reacts Trapped in the past, re-living the facts [Pre-Chorus - Intensity builds, heavy nu-metal bass enters] Tablets just numb it—wrap it quiet & tight Dim down the noise—but they don’t make it right But old fear still knows exactly where I hide The trauma’s locked deep—still burning right inside [Chorus - Explodes with heavy, slow, melodic nu-metal guitars] I don’t choose to dream it—don’t choose to go back Don’t choose the nightmare that tears my sleep black I wake up soaked through—shaking, cold, afraid Lost hold completely—fear takes what it claimed Still the night remembers when daylight forgets Still old scars bleed where the quietness sets I’m not a child anymore—but the terror still knows Exactly where I sleep—exactly where it goes Every part of this struggle—I let it be seen Not something to hide—just what survival means [Verse 2 - Heavy, slow dreamwave beat, massive emotional weight] People say “time heals”, “you’ve had help now, right?” Sessions every week, pills day after night They veil over hurt—dull the heaviest weight Hide all the cracks—but don’t change my state Safe in my bed—eyes closed, drifting deep Then it floods back—every ghost that I keep Heart hammers ribs, and the panic peaks high Everything lets go—can’t stop it, why try? No childish mistake—no weakness of soul Pure survival reflex—terror takes control Fighting old ghosts long past their power to last And I hate that it happens—exposed by the past Hide wet sheets away—wash them out in the dark Where nobody knows—where he left his cruel mark Because he never had a face—or a name I could say But his shadow still burns—just as sharp as that day And that last awful moment—curled small on the floor Turns up in the dark—makes me feel dirty once more [Pre-Chorus - Defiant, melodic, guitars building tension] I’ve done all “right things”—tried every single way Still shadows come home at the end of the day It’s not “something to get over”—it lives deep inside Wired into cells—where old terrors hide [Chorus - Maximum intensity, clean vocals soaring over heavy guitars] I don’t choose to dream it—don’t choose to go back Don’t choose the nightmare that tears my sleep black I wake up soaked through—shaking, cold, afraid Lost hold completely—fear takes what it claimed Still the night remembers when daylight forgets Still old scars bleed where the quietness sets I’m not a child anymore—but the terror still knows Exactly where I sleep—exactly where it goes Every part of this struggle—I let it be seen Not something to hide—just what survival means [Solo - Emotional, melodic, long sustained notes and harmonising] [Bridge - Pure melodic power, synths and heavy guitars blend] So I kept it locked—ashamed and alone Thought no one else ever could possibly know That grown-ups still shake—and lose hold when they dream That bodies betray us when old terrors scream You can’t fight a shadow you never saw face Cruelty leaves marks in the quietest place The nightmare replays it—frame-by-frame detail Every fresh hurt feels like brand-new assail If I sing it out loud—to the edge of the crowd Does it shrink the shame—or make me feel proud? It proves I survived—every second, every part Even the mess that broke my heart Not broken—just carrying too much weight Still fighting battles that never wait And if sharing this truth helps just one soul say “Me too”—and they aren’t alone today Then it’s worth it all [Final Chorus - all-in, full intensity, massive emotional release] I don’t choose to dream it—don’t choose to go back Don’t choose the nightmare that tears my sleep black I wake up soaked through—shaking, cold, afraid Lost hold completely—fear takes what it claimed Still the night remembers when daylight forgets Still old scars bleed where the quietness sets I’m not a child anymore—but the terror still knows Exactly where I sleep—exactly where it goes Every part of this struggle—I let it be seen Not something to hide—just what survival means [Outro - Music strips back to a faint heartbeat and soft synths] Still the night remembers But so do I Stronger each time I don’t hide Not broken… Just real…