[Aggressive Verse] Yeah, Grease Monkey Pete, fifty-two and still a bargain bin king Goodwill Customer of the Year, every fit look like a clearance thing Only show up to the podcast when the mood strike right Most nights you ghost, we just roast the empty seat in the mic light Sunglasses indoor at night like the sun still exist Podcast start after dark, still rockin’ the shades like a dumbass myth Hangin’ under overpasses, that’s your second address Fifty-two years old and the only consistent thing is your absence [Dark Hook] You fall off every week, then crawl back when it’s convenient Part-time Standard Asshole, full-time disappearing act, I mean it Thrift-store wardrobe, night-time shades, overpass hangouts Birthday boy still half-committed, we see the pattern, no doubt [Aggressive Verse] Rapid-fire facts, you can’t dodge ‘em, Pete Goodwill racks salute you every time you swipe the receipt Only pull up when you feel like it, never when we need you Under the bridge or in the booth, either way we still see through Sunglasses on in the dark, tryin’ to look mysterious Just look like a guy who forgot the show starts after serious Fifty-two candles and the only flame you keep lit Is the one that says “maybe next week” every single script [Dark Hook] You fall off every week, then crawl back when it’s convenient Part-time Standard Asshole, full-time disappearing act, I mean it Thrift-store wardrobe, night-time shades, overpass hangouts Birthday boy still half-committed, we see the pattern, no doubt [Outro] Happy birthday, Pete... now go fall somewhere else
