I keep my hands inside my sleeves Like that could stop what moves toward you I pull away before I mean to I shut down before I know why I learned to read the smallest shifts The pauses The change in tone My hands still tense without permission My chest still treats closeness like a warning You move slowly Like you're trying not to scare something fragile Part of me wants distance Part of me is already there with you And I don't know which one speaks louder anymore So let there be butterflies Even if they unsettle everything Even if my first instinct Is still to disappear inside myself Let there be butterflies Sharp enough to reach the guarded parts I am tired of confusing protection With being alive Being alive I still rehearse the leaving Before anything can begin Still expect affection to change shape The moment I start believing it But you never force your way through You just remain Steady Until the panic loses momentum Let there be butterflies... No resistance now No rehearsed goodbye Just this Just staying
