Raging Monkey on My Back

: Raging monkey on my back Whispering “go, don’t turn back” but I want to turn back Sitting here again, angry On a Sunday, late at night Reminiscing about the last few days Watching my heart begin to change Full of great plans back then Just three days ago, exactly One phone call, a few small steps A few hundred less in my pocket Raging monkey on my back Whispering “go, don’t turn back” Taking pieces of my soul Leaving nothing but a hole Pretending to be good, to care Eating, breathing, feeding the cats Rehearsing my smile, my look, my walk Just for the last few hours But before that, no regrets Shots, flights, lust, lines, slams The pattern repeats and repeats again Till the zombie faces appear I build myself, I break again I lose the fight, I lose the game And when the morning comes to me I’m someone else I cannot be Raging monkey on my back Whispering “go, don’t turn back” Taking pieces of my soul Leaving nothing but a hole Six, ten, twelve, twenty hours A human robot repeating tasks One might think it's purely pleasure A pleasant way to erase myself Raging monkey on my back Whispering “go, don’t turn back” Taking pieces of my soul Leaving nothing but a hole I build myself, I break again I lose the fight, I lose the game And when the morning comes to me I’m someone else I cannot be someone else I never wanted to be someone else I don't want you to be around someone else, i wanna put in the past