[INTRO] Mama said the lights be back Friday… It was Tuesday. I ain’t even ask. [VERSE 1] Born where the winter make your fingertips numb Mama stay drunk, and my Daddy a bum He Caught a body, and got buried in time So the block raised me, every lesson was crime School bell ring, I ain’t hear what they teachin’ Doodlin’ faces while the teacher keep preachin’ “You got talent, you could really go far” “Go Far where? We ain’t even got no car.” Three-thirty, see the families arrive. Moms hug kids, dads pull up outside I’m on the steps like I don’t give a fuck Still sittin’ there when four-fifteen struck Four-fifteen, still sittin’ alone Cold-ass fingers, no minutes on the phone Ma on a bike, beat Buick, stranger’s ride Different dude every month, I hold my anger inside House get loud when the liquor get low Doors get slammed, shit thrown on the floor Fridge half-empty, shoes by the bed Never knew what kinda night lay ahead Lights cut off, and the whole crib black Mama light candles, “They turnin’ ’em back” I draw skyscrapers underneath that flame Put my little signature under my name Drew Mama sober, drew Pops in suits Drew me somewhere better… But outside they shoot…. shoot…shoot… [HOOK] When the lights go out… You get used to the dark Abused by the dark somehow When the lights go out… Ain’t nobody finding you now Wrong roads is like a Right way out When the lights go out… Hope you see the light somehow ’fore they make ya lights go out… When the lights go out… [VERSE 2] Seventeen, piss in the stairs Same OGs posted, been there for years “Boy, get cash, ain’t no future in class Not when you hungry and broke on your ass” Movies gave codes, hood gave commandments Don’t look weak, don’t fold on your mans Still kept sketches in the bottom of drawers But art ain’t payin’ when they knock on the door Never heard “portfolio,” “grant” or “degree” I knew which gas station closed after three First lick… Corner store where I grew up at Black hoodie low, hand in the jacket “Open the register, move it fast” Then he looked in my eyes… Same old man used to front me chips Free candy when Ma ain’t have shit “Stay out them streets,” he’d always preach Now he shakin’ with my steel pointed at his beak He knew my walk. Probably knew my voice. Seen it in his face like, “damn, we lost this boy”. Grabbed seven-fifty, ran through the alley Heart hit my ribs like the cops behind me Cash in my lap, still seeing his face But lights stayed on, food filled the place Second lick, clerk wasn’t havin’ that Reached cross the counter, the neega grabbed at my gat. We crashed through the rack, chips on the floor I cracked him twice— He ain’t grab me no more. Blood on my sleeve, still took the drawer Ran out the back, wasn’t sick like before First time guilt had me staring at ceilings Second time? I ain’t feel that feelin’. Third lick clean, no fear, no shakes Walked in smooth like i ain’t makin’ mistakes No weight in my chest, no doubt in my brain That’s when the darkness started feelin’ like day. [HOOK REPEAT] When the lights go out… You get used to the dark Abused by the dark somehow When the lights go out… Ain’t nobody finding you now Wrong roads is like a Right way out When the lights go out… Hope you see the light somehow ’fore they make ya lights go out… When the lights go out… [VERSE 3] Cold rain, past one Hoodie tight, little weight in my gun Neon buzzin’, sign in the glass Walked through the door like “I’m a do this and dash” Two dudes shoppin’, cashier by the till I ain’t even nervous, numb to the thrill “Everybody down, don’t make this shit wild Open that drawer, put the cash in the pile” Bag halfway full. Voice from the right— “Yo.” Turned too slow. Muzzle flash white. BANG. Chest got hot, body went weak Dropped by the cooler and lottery sheets Couldn’t feel pain, just pressure and heat Heard another pop… then the sound got deep. Ceiling spun. Sirens went mute. Suddenly… I’m back in school. Six years old with my crayons and pen Teacher got my picture all hung up again Mama came sober, hugged me that day Whispered in my ear, like “Boy you gon’ be great.” Flash— Eighteen with a scholarship letter Paint on my hands, whole life look better First little gallery, family around Now they know my name when I walk downtown Flash— Twenty-four, got my name on a wall Big mural downtown, forty feet tall Flash— COUGH. Nah. Back to the floor. Blood in my lungs. Can’t feel my legs anymore. Money scattered at my feet Candy by my hand… same shit I used to eat. Gunman still there, cashier yelling hard “Hold on, ambulance ain’t that far!” Sirens get close but my heartbeat slow Vision get narrow… room startin to go. Maybe I had somethin’. Maybe she saw it. Maybe one chance… and I never fought it. Spent my whole life tryna make it from broke Money on the floor, now I’m chokin’ on smoke. Mama… Tell ’em I— [Beat cuts.] [OUTRO] Lights went out.
