Look... I don’t mean to be pushy, I know it’s late up there. Just had to get some things off my chest. It’s been a minute. I’m just checking the weather inside your section of heaven Is it a pleasant obsession or are you stressing the method Of how we left it? I’m desperate to find a regular message My mind is heavy, I’m begging to get a second of presence From when my grandpa would catch a ball in the back of the yard He was a dad to tomorrow, a steady hand in the dark But then the damage departed and left a family scarred I manage badly, it’s hard to rebuild a shattered apart And fractured heart, see the path was a masterpiece from the start But now the master is gone and I’m just a piece in the dark. Then my auntie would tell me that magic actually dwelled in The very fabric we fell in, a tragic casualty held in By all the logic we sellin', she had me captivated Now I’m just aggravated, back to the facts I hated Trapped in a granulated capsule of catastrophic Apathy, naturally capturing every painful topic. And you’re gone, it’s a bitter pill, a heavy truth to swallow Walking through the shadows of a world that’s feeling hollow Yeah, you’re gone, and the silence in the room is getting loud I’m just trying to make it through and trying to make you proud But you’re gone, and it’s hitting like a freight train in the night Nothing’s ever gonna make this regular or right. My uncle was my biological father’s brother, a constant lover of life But now he’s under the ice, a solemn sudden goodbye We lost the comfort of light, I’m in the hunt for a why But every answer is dry, I watch the calendar fly And then the kids from my high school, the ones I sat in the pod with The ones I laughed and I shot with, the ones I shared a facade with They got their oxygen cut off before their lives could begin A bunch of names on a bench where we used to hide from the wind. Now I’m tracking the trauma, back with a bottle of absolute drama, mapping the saga Pack in a stack of the facts and I stagger, back to the blackness, I look at the ladder Wondering why did they die in a hurry? Vision is blurry, living in worry Digging a ditch for the memories, enemies catching a couple of penalties, heavily chemically Drowning the remedy, hitting the ceiling, I’m losing my feeling, it’s killing me mentally, heavily! Even the pets that we buried, they were my family, damn it I’m standing alone on a planet where everything changes entirely Anxiously watching the clock and I’m losing my mind and my sobriety. And you’re gone, it’s a bitter pill, a heavy truth to swallow Walking through the shadows of a world that’s feeling hollow Yeah, you’re gone, and the silence in the room is getting loud I’m just trying to make it through and trying to make you proud But you’re gone, and it’s hitting like a freight train in the night Nothing’s ever gonna make this regular or right. If I knew then what I know now, would I be standing upright? Or would I crumble inside the rumble of a permanent night? I try to summarize life but it’s a summarize fight Between the memory’s weight and what is coming to light. I miss the magic, the laughter, the tracks we made in the snow The old advice from my grandfather that I needed to know The way my uncle would joke, the way my homies would roll It’s like pieces of me were stolen out of my soul. But that’s the truth of it, ain’t it? You don’t get 'em back. You just gotta live with the space they left behind. I miss you. Goodbye.
