Crab Vengeance

rap, 2010 comedy-rap banger, male vocals, big distorted drums and buzzy synth bass, over-compressed “club tape” master, Verses spit rapid-fire punchlines with sudden drop-outs for exaggerated ad-libs; choruses explode with gang shouts and stacked harmonies, Bridge shifts to halftime stomp with goofy cinematic hits before final over-the-top hype run, hyphy, comedy

[Intro]
[beat drops in, crowd murmur]
Yeah
It’s your boy
Shellfish Shawn in the building (what!)
Crustacean Nation
Let’s go

[Verse 1]
I was chillin on the pier, sandals, spray tan
Bucket full of crabs like, “I’m the big man”
Took a selfie, dropped my phone, screen went dead
One lil’ crab said “mine,” ran off with my bread
Stole my fries, stole my pride, sideways strut
Clacked both claws, gave me the lil’ claw-cut
Whole crew scuttled like “run his pockets”
One pinched my toes, other one rocked my sockets
Now I’m limpin to the lifeguard, lookin real shook
He laughin, takin TikToks, didn’t even look
Tourists pointin like “yo, that dude got smoked
By a five-ounce snack and a crab that spoke”

[Chorus]
Crab vengeance
I’m back with a bib and a plan now (plan now)
Crab vengeance
Butter in the pan, turn the sand to a smackdown (smackdown)
If you see me on the beach, better hide them claws
I’m the salad bar psycho with the cocktail sauce
Crab vengeance
I’m petty till I end this crust

[Verse 2]
Pulled up to the dock in a “Kiss the Cook” apron
Cooler full of rage, Old Bay, no patience
Saw my op in a tide pool, mean lil’ stare
Tiny red tank top, “pinch don’t care”
He got a tattoo, “live fast, die boiled”
Bent one claw like “what, you spoiled?”
I said “square up,” he just squared to the side
Hit me with the sideways shuffle, clipped my pride
He whistled, whole squad popped out the rock
One wore shades, one had a mohawk
They circled my ankles, click-click, full send
I screamed “FORREST GUMP!” then I hit the deep end (splash)
Now I’m soaked, crowd on live, views goin up
Thumbnail: me gettin dragged by a pup
News headline: “Man in fight with lunch”
Comment section: “L+ratio+crab crunch”

[Chorus]
Crab vengeance
I’m back with a bib and a plan now (yeah!)
Crab vengeance
Butter in the pan, turn the sand to a smackdown (woo!)
If you see me on the beach, better hide them claws
I’m the salad bar psycho with the cocktail sauce
Crab vengeance
I’m petty till I end this crust

[Bridge]
[beat drops to halftime, heavy 808, echo]
I got
Butter in the backpack, lemon in the holster
Apron like a cape, call me Garlic Gangster
Walk up on the shore like “line ‘em up, plate ‘em”
Seagulls chantin “WORLDSTAR,” they already ate ‘em
I’m yellin “it’s on sight” at the seafood counter
Point at the tank like “you remember? I found ya”
The crab blinked twice like “bro, we cool”
Then flipped me off with a claw in the pool (disrespect!)

[Outro]
[beat cuts, just chant + claps]
Crab gang, crab gang
Pinch, pinch, bang-bang
If you see that shell?
Run
(or bring the buns)

2861/7500

[Intro] [beat drops in, crowd murmur] Yeah It’s your boy Shellfish Shawn in the building (what!) Crustacean Nation Let’s go [Verse 1] I was chillin on the pier, sandals, spray tan Bucket full of crabs like, “I’m the big man” Took a selfie, dropped my phone, screen went dead One lil’ crab said “mine,” ran off with my bread Stole my fries, stole my pride, sideways strut Clacked both claws, gave me the lil’ claw-cut Whole crew scuttled like “run his pockets” One pinched my toes, other one rocked my sockets Now I’m limpin to the lifeguard, lookin real shook He laughin, takin TikToks, didn’t even look Tourists pointin like “yo, that dude got smoked By a five-ounce snack and a crab that spoke” [Chorus] Crab vengeance I’m back with a bib and a plan now (plan now) Crab vengeance Butter in the pan, turn the sand to a smackdown (smackdown) If you see me on the beach, better hide them claws I’m the salad bar psycho with the cocktail sauce Crab vengeance I’m petty till I end this crust [Verse 2] Pulled up to the dock in a “Kiss the Cook” apron Cooler full of rage, Old Bay, no patience Saw my op in a tide pool, mean lil’ stare Tiny red tank top, “pinch don’t care” He got a tattoo, “live fast, die boiled” Bent one claw like “what, you spoiled?” I said “square up,” he just squared to the side Hit me with the sideways shuffle, clipped my pride He whistled, whole squad popped out the rock One wore shades, one had a mohawk They circled my ankles, click-click, full send I screamed “FORREST GUMP!” then I hit the deep end (splash) Now I’m soaked, crowd on live, views goin up Thumbnail: me gettin dragged by a pup News headline: “Man in fight with lunch” Comment section: “L+ratio+crab crunch” [Chorus] Crab vengeance I’m back with a bib and a plan now (yeah!) Crab vengeance Butter in the pan, turn the sand to a smackdown (woo!) If you see me on the beach, better hide them claws I’m the salad bar psycho with the cocktail sauce Crab vengeance I’m petty till I end this crust [Bridge] [beat drops to halftime, heavy 808, echo] I got Butter in the backpack, lemon in the holster Apron like a cape, call me Garlic Gangster Walk up on the shore like “line ‘em up, plate ‘em” Seagulls chantin “WORLDSTAR,” they already ate ‘em I’m yellin “it’s on sight” at the seafood counter Point at the tank like “you remember? I found ya” The crab blinked twice like “bro, we cool” Then flipped me off with a claw in the pool (disrespect!) [Chorus] Crab vengeance I’m back with a bib and a plan now (plan now) Crab vengeance Butter in the pan, turn the sand to a smackdown (smackdown) If you see me on the beach, better hide them claws I’m the salad bar psycho with the cocktail sauce Crab vengeance I’m petty till I end this crust [Outro] [beat cuts, just chant + claps] Crab gang, crab gang Pinch, pinch, bang-bang If you see that shell? Run (or bring the buns)

0/500