[Intro] (driving guitar riff, tight drums, building urgency) [Verse 1] (clear male vocals with light grit, subtle slapback delay and light filter for edge) The epidemic’s airborne, no mask can filter the strain A pandemic of the pedestrian, multiplying in the brain Every boardroom, every barstool, every digital domain Is crawling with the cognitively castrated, the proudly plain They mistake volume for valor, certainty for sense Wielding opinions like blunt instruments against the fence Of basic fucking competence. The bar was already low Now they’re limbo-dancing underneath it, calling it a show [Chorus] (anthemic vocals with light distortion filter, layered, open reverb and drive) It’s a fucking plague of the pedestrian, a viral vacancy Everyone’s a creetin and the symptoms are free No antidote, no quarantine, no intellectual quarantine Just the mass meh-tastasis of mediocrity’s machine High-brow? They can’t reach the shelf. Low-brow? They’re the shelf A species-wide soft-serve of self-satisfied self-help [Breakdown] (angular guitar-driven instrumental, tight and energetic) [Verse 2] (rhythmic pointed vocals with light grit and subtle filter) Watch the LinkedIn luminaries, the thought-leader lepers Peddling platitudes polished to a high-gloss deficit “Synergy.” “Disruption.” “Lean in.” “Own your truth” Semantic empty calories for the chronically uncouth They confuse correlation with causation like it’s a parlor trick Then wonder why the bridge collapses when they build it with brick Made of vibes and victimhood. The Dunning-Kruger choir Sings flat in perfect harmony, setting the world on fire With pure, uncut incompetence—no skill, just willful noise A symphony of the subliterate conducted by the boys Who never learned the difference between “affect” and “effect” Yet demand a seat at every table they can’t even detect [Chorus] (bigger anthemic vocals, light distortion filter, more reverb and urgency) It’s a fucking plague of the pedestrian, a viral vacancy Everyone’s a creetin and the symptoms are free No antidote, no quarantine, no intellectual quarantine Just the mass meh-tastasis of mediocrity’s machine High-brow? They can’t reach the shelf. Low-brow? They’re the shelf A species-wide soft-serve of self-satisfied self-help [Bridge] (more intimate pointed delivery, light atmospheric filter and reverb) Call it the Great Flattening, the democratization of dense Where every half-wit with a hashtag thinks he’s got defense Against the charge of being a walking cognitive foreclosure They’ve turned “I don’t know” into a moral posture Then fill the silence with absolute, unearned assurance It’s not humility—it’s the arrogance of the incurious The disease is democratic: no class, no creed, no cure Just the endless, egalitarian erosion of the pure Capacity to fucking think before you speak, post, or leed A planetary case of terminal intellectual need [Dunning-Kruger Choir] (sarcastic young adult choir, youthful layered voices, mocking and overly confident, slightly irreverent and flat delivery) We know enough… we know enough… We know enough to leed the way We know enough… we know enough… Certainty is our birthright, ignorance is strength [Expansive Breakdown] (extended driving instrumental – angular guitars, tight rhythm section, rising energy) [Chorus] (peak anthemic energy with light distortion filter and open reverb) It’s a fucking plague of the pedestrian, a viral vacancy Everyone’s a creetin and the symptoms are free No antidote, no quarantine, no intellectual quarantine Just the mass meh-tastasis of mediocrity’s machine High-brow? They can’t reach the shelf. Low-brow? They’re the shelf A species-wide soft-serve of self-satisfied self-help [Outro] (vocals with increasing reverb and filter wash) So raise a glass of nothing to the empire of the average Where excellence is suspect and the competent are savage For daring to expect a baseline of basic fucking ability The diagnosis is terminal. The prognosis is banality We’re all infected. The only difference left to parse Is who’s still lucid enough to notice we’re all ARSE. [Final Breakdown] (final energetic instrumental close – driving and unresolved)
