[Intro, spoken] ... I had dignity once. Pretty sure I set it down somewhere. Checked my pockets. Checked the car. Nothing. [Verse 1] I dropped my dignity somewhere last night Bent down to grab it, but it slipped out of sight Checked under the table, checked under the chair Found three old receipts and a handful of hair Asked the bartender, "Anybody turn it in?" He looked at my face and just started to grin Said, "Buddy, whatever you walked in here with Was probably gone by quarter past six" I retraced my steps through a questionable scene Past a traffic cone wearing someone else's jeans Found my left shoe sitting out by the curb But dignity? Nah, not a trace, not a word [Pre-Chorus] Maybe I lost it Maybe it ran Maybe it finally Got sick of my plans [Chorus] I DROPPED MY DIGNITY AND LOST IT FOREVER If somebody finds it They can keep it, whatever I looked high, I looked low I checked everywhere My pride left a note saying "Don't drag me there" I DROPPED MY DIGNITY Now I'm living without it Turns out life's easier When you quit caring about it [Verse 2] Called up my friends, said, "I got a concern" They said, "You had dignity? When did that return?" One sent a picture from sometime last May I was asleep in the bushes three houses away Checked lost and found at the grocery store They had one glove and a phone from '04 A child's little backpack, one Croc, two keys But nobody had anything belonging to me I filed a report with a serious face Officer asked for the time and the place Then he read my statement, leaned back in his seat Said, "Sir, I don't think this qualifies as property" [Pre-Chorus] Maybe I lost it Maybe it fled Maybe it saw what Was coming ahead [Chorus] I DROPPED MY DIGNITY AND LOST IT FOREVER If somebody finds it They can keep it, whatever I looked high, I looked low I checked everywhere My pride left a note saying "Don't drag me there" I DROPPED MY DIGNITY Now I'm living without it Turns out life's easier When you quit caring about it [Breakdown, spoken] "Missing" One slightly used sense of self-respect. "Last seen" Making several bad decisions in rapid succession. "Reward" Absolutely nothing. [Bridge] Maybe dignity was holding me back Maybe shame was an unnecessary tax Maybe every bad choice that I ever survived Was just proof I could function with nothing inside So raise up a glass to the person I was Before common sense packed its shit up because I've searched every corner, I've checked every shelf And I think dignity's better off saving itself [Final Chorus] I DROPPED MY DIGNITY AND LOST IT FOREVER We had a good run Well, not really, but whatever I looked high, I looked low Now I don't even care If my pride wants to leave There's the door over there I DROPPED MY DIGNITY AND I'M DONE TRYING TO FIND IT If shame wants me back It can get right behind it [Outro, spoken] So if you find my dignity... [Deadpan] No... you didn't.
