[Intro - Spoken over ominous synth pulse] In the year twelve hundred and something extremely inconvenient, a shadow appeared upon the eastern horizon. It was vast. It was terrible. It was looking for somewhere to park. [Vocoder] Somewhere to park… [Verse 1] Genghis Khan rode out at dawn In silver boots and nylon on A million horsemen, fierce and grand With matching capes from Samarkand He raised his sword and cried, “Advance!” The drummer started “Safety Dance” The left wing charged, the right withdrew The middle stopped to use the loo [Pre-Chorus] The banners flew, the trumpets blew The map was upside down They conquered half a cabbage field Three goats and one small town [Chorus] Khan! Khan! Khan’t stop the disco Riding through the night Khan! Khan! Khan’t stop the disco Everything’s all right The empire may be burning But the mirror ball is bright Khan! Khan! Khan’t stop the disco Till we conquer Saturday night [Post-Chorus - Chorus responses] Hey! Hey! Move the horde! Hey! Hey! Mind the sword! [Verse 2] He summoned all his generals And several minor admirals Though none of them had ships at hand They felt it made the meeting grand “Today,” said Khan, “we take the west!” His secretary looked distressed “You’ve got a fitting half past three, Then dental work at quarter to four, you see.” [Spoken Interruption] Khan: Cancel the dentist! Secretary: You cancelled twice already. Khan: Very well. Move the invasion to Thursday. Secretary: Thursday is pillaging awareness training. Khan: Curse this administration! [Pre-Chorus] The cavalry formed one long line According to the plan But someone brought a conga drum And then the dance began [Chorus] Khan! Khan! Khan’t stop the disco Riding through the night Khan! Khan! Khan’t stop the disco Everything’s all right The empire may be burning But the mirror ball is bright Khan! Khan! Khan’t stop the disco Till we conquer Saturday night [Instrumental Break - Arpeggiator solo, horse-hoof rhythm] [Vocoder] Conquer… conquer… Subject to local regulations… [Verse 3] The horses formed a workers’ guild Their list of grievances was filled “No galloping past half past ten, And oats before we charge again.” The blacksmith claimed his forge was hot The cook misplaced the yoghurt pot The royal eagle would not fly Without a better contract signed [Pre-Chorus] The mighty Khan surveyed his troops And made a bold decree: “Who needs a functioning empire When we have choreography?” [Big Chorus] Khan! Khan! Khan’t stop the disco Riding through the night Khan! Khan! Khan’t stop the disco Sequins left and right From the plains of old Mongolia To a nightclub in Carlisle Khan! Khan! Khan’t stop the disco In aggressively tight style [Bridge - Half-time, melodramatic] He dreamed of endless territory Of monuments to tell his story But history is hard to steer When someone spills a lager near He stood beneath the stars alone A conqueror without a throne Then from the hills, a voice rang clear: [Small voice] “Excuse me, mate. Is this your horse?” [Silence] Khan: No. [Horse neigh] Khan: Possibly. [Final Chorus - Key change] Khan! Khan! Khan’t stop the disco Glitter on the steppes Khan! Khan! Khan’t stop the disco Watch those mounted steps The empire keeps expanding Though nobody knows quite why Khan! Khan! Khan’t stop the disco Wave your sabres to the sky Khan! Khan! Khan’t stop the disco History’s alive Khan! Khan! Khan’t stop the disco One-two-three-four-five! [Spoken] General: Five? Khan: We lost count during Poland. Secretary: We haven’t reached Poland. Khan: Then who are these people? [Chorus, cheerfully] We’re the catering staff! [Outro] Khan! Khan! Mind the horse! Khan! Khan! Wrong way, of course! [Vocoder fading] Subject to local regulations… Somewhere to park… Saturday night… [End] [Lyrics ©2026 by ContempoJedi]
