**I WASN'T READY** **(Hook)** I wasn't ready for the call, wasn't ready for goodbye, Wasn't ready for the moment that I realized you died. Now I'm looking at your pictures with a million questions why, And I swear I'd trade my everything just to hear you one more time. I wasn't ready for the silence, wasn't ready for the pain, Wasn't ready for the memories that keep running through my brain. Everybody tells me time will make it easier to change, But they don't know that every year just teaches me a different way to ache. **(Verse 1)** I still remember when I found out, I remember where I stood, Funny how a single moment can destroy your whole world good. One second you're just living, next you're wishing that you could Go back and say the things you should've said when you still could. That's the part that fucking haunts me, all the words I left unsaid. All the times I thought we'd have that I'll never get again. I keep talking to your picture, like you're listening instead, Then I put my phone down slowly and remember you're dead. I don't wanna say that sentence, but it's something that is true. You're not coming through that doorway, I'm not getting calls from you. And no matter how I phrase it, there's no softer fucking truth. I lost my brother, and a piece of me got buried there with you. I been angry at the world, I been angry at the sky. I've been asking God some questions that I know won't get replies. I've been trying to look strong when I'm breaking up inside, 'cause I don't wanna make the people that I love watch me die. **(Hook)** I wasn't ready for the call, wasn't ready for goodbye, Wasn't ready for the moment that I realized you died. Now I'm looking at your pictures with a million questions why, And I swear I'd trade my everything just to hear you one more time. I wasn't ready for the silence, wasn't ready for the pain, Wasn't ready for the memories that keep running through my brain. Everybody tells me time will make it easier to change, But they don't know that every year just teaches me a different way to ache. **(Verse 2)** I remember all the stupid shit that used to piss me off, Now I'd give anything to have you here and hear you talk. Funny how you never know the value of a moment until the moment's gone and all you're left with is the thought. I wish I'd hugged you longer, wish I'd called a little more. Wish I'd known the last conversation was the last one before. Wish I'd realized that ordinary was a fucking gift, 'cause I'd give everything I own to have one ordinary day with you again. And I hate that life kept moving like it didn't give a fuck. People laughing, cars passing, while my whole world came undone. Had to wake up every morning and pretend that I was good, when the only thing I wanted was to go back if I could. But I couldn't. So I carried it. Every memory. Every regret. Every picture. Every song. Every word I never said. And sometimes when I'm writing, I can feel you in the room. Not because I think you're haunting me, but because I never stopped loving you. Maybe that's what grief is, love with nowhere left to move. So I put it in these songs and send every fucking one to you. **(Bridge)** I hope you know I didn't forget you. I hope you know I never could. I hope wherever you are right now, you know I would've saved you if I could. And if I had one minute, just one minute face to face, I wouldn't waste it asking questions. I'd just tell you that I love you and I'd hold you while I cried because I never got the chance to say goodbye the way I should. **(Verse 3)** Now I'm trying to turn the tragedy into something you can live through, Take the pain that tried to break me and make something fucking beautiful. Not because the hurt is gone, but because I know what it can do, And I don't wanna let the worst day of my life become the end of me too. You taught me things without you ever knowing that you did, About loyalty and family, about fighting through the shit. Now I'm carrying your memory every time I raise my kid, Trying to build a better life with all the pieces that I got left. I know I'll have good days, I know I'll laugh again. But that doesn't mean I'm healed, it just means I'm learning how to live. Some days I'll barely think about you, some days it'll hit again. That's the fucked-up thing about grief, it doesn't follow where you've been. So I won't force myself to forget you just to prove that I moved on. I'll keep your name alive every time I put a new song on. And if anybody asks me why the pain is still this strong, I'll tell them love doesn't disappear just because somebody's gone. **(Final Hook)** I wasn't ready for the call, wasn't ready for goodbye, Wasn't ready for the moment that I realized you died. Now I'm looking at your pictures with a million questions why, And I swear I'd trade my everything just to hear you one more time.
