[INTRO: LOW, DISTANT / HALF-WHISPERED] Light up a cigarette… Let the motions take me back. Light up and smoke. Yeah, bring me back To the memories of when it was love I’d hold. Take me back… Back… To when life wasn’t completely outta control. [BEAT DROPS] [VERSE 1] Light up and inhale, bruh. Let the hit kick. Revisiting the past so often It’s like I’m living in it. I can’t heal from then. It’s a gifted sickness. Trapped exactly where I was, Only difference is I ain’t feeling shit. Pisses me off, ’Cause way back when, Love was hitting him. Now the only thing affecting him Like that did Is a needle breaking skin. I have no control of control. Hallucinations of my imagination Be the way of beating the fix And trick my mind into what I really want. So… So… Go. Go. Let your love unfurl. Sinking in a bed with greatness. Flatlines… Toes curl. Legs heavily shaking. Shaken. Craving… Just distant echoes of laughter in the room, But only from the past ‘Cause the future’s breaking. Lust… Intimating. Humiliating. Not for love. Only me. So I’m constantly… Well… I’m initiating. Protocols of rituals, Ways where I’m disintegrating. ‘Cause the fact is, It’s gone. And it’s not just lost. It’s infuriating. [PRE-CHORUS: BUILDING] Searching for a feeling That I know I’ll never recreate again. Reanimating memories Just to watch them fucking fade again. Recalculating everything Like I can somehow change the ending. Manipulating my own mind Just to keep pretending. [CHORUS: BIG / HAUNTED] I’m chasing what I buried, While the present keeps decaying. I’m chasing through the darkness For the love that isn’t waiting. Dead… So I wanna be too. Deteriorating, But at the same time endlessly chasing you. I keep reaching through the memories, Trying to make them fucking true. If death is where you disappeared, Then that’s where I’m chasing to. [VERSE 2: FASTER / MORE UNSTABLE] I keep resurrecting What I know is fucking dead. Keep negotiating with memories That only live inside my head. Every road leads backwards. Every answer misdirects. And I can’t tell if I’m remembering Or manufacturing the pain. Can’t tell if I’m healing Or just finding better ways To stay the same living in pain of my aches. Every hits a time machine. Every pin brings me closer. Then the smoke clears from the room And I’m alone with what it showed me. I see your face. Then it vanishes. Hear your voice. Then the silence hits. Reach my hand into the darkness, But there’s nothing fucking there to grip. So I chase it. I chase it. I chase it till I’m breathless. Every memory that I touch Turns another shade of senseless. But I’d rather see you in a hallucination Than accept you’re really gone. I’d rather live inside the past Than wake up to another dawn. [BREAKDOWN: MUSIC CUTS] So I smoke. I breathe. I disappear. [Silence] Dead… So I wanna be too. [HEARTBEAT] Because if you’re there… Why the fuck would I stay here? [BEAT EXPLODES] [FINAL VERSE: RAPID-FIRE / CHAOTIC] I’m chasing the dead ‘Cause the dead don’t fucking change. You stay exactly how I loved you While the living rearrange. I’m chasing every shadow That resembles your silhouette. Every voice inside the static That I swear I haven’t heard yet. Hallucinations hit me, And I don’t fucking run away. I follow every apparition Like it’ll lead me where you stay. Walls bend. Lights flicker. Room spins. Mind fractures. Memory after memory Turning into fucking chapters. Your laughter in the hallway. Your reflection in the glass. I reach for you, You disappear, And I’m screaming at the past. I’m running through the memories, They’re running through me faster. Every beautiful reminder Turns into another disaster. I loved you so fucking much That I can’t bury what remains. So I resurrect the fucking memories And let them pick my brain. I’m chasing death, Not because I want the darkness. I’m chasing death Because I loved you where your heart is. If that’s where you went, Then that’s where I wanna find you. If there’s somewhere after this, Then maybe I’ll be beside you. I’m deteriorating. I’m disintegrating. I’m endlessly, Relentlessly, Obsessively chasing. Recreating. Replaying. Reanimating. Everything we ever were Just to keep myself from breaking. And I know you’re dead. I know. I fucking know. But knowing doesn’t make me love you less. It makes me chase you more. [FINAL CHORUS: HALF-TIME] I’m chasing what I buried, While the present keeps decaying. I’m chasing through the darkness For the love that isn’t waiting. Dead… So I wanna be too. Deteriorating, But at the same time endlessly chasing you. I keep reaching through the memories, Trying to make them fucking true. If death is where you disappeared… Then that’s where I’m chasing to. [OUTRO: FADE] Light up a cigarette… Let the motions take me back. Just one more time… Take me back. Back… To when it was love I’d hold.
