[Intro] (Have you seen it?) (The big list, mate) (It’s two thousand pages of pure absolute filth) [Record Scratch] [Heavy Bass Drop] [Verse 1] I was sat in the spoons with a pint and a dream When I saw the news flash on the plasma screen A massive great folder, a digital heist Enough names in there to scare Jesus Christ I’m scrolling through names like I’m looking for snacks Billionaires, actors, and political hacks They’re all on the list, looking proper disgraced While I’m sitting here with a kebab on my face (He didn't do it, he was at the pizza place) (Woking branch, mate, keeping it classy) [Chorus] It’s the Island PDF, the file of the year Making all the posh blokes tremble with fear From the private jet to the tropical sun The elite are all sweating, except for that one (You know the one) (The one who doesn't perspire) [Verse 2] I’ve got the flight logs, I’m reading the names Playing a massive game of billionaire games "I was only there for the snorkeling," he said As he hid under the duvet and covered his head There’s more redactions than a spy’s diary The whole situation is looking quite fiery Five Hundred names blacked out with a pen Probably the same blokes from Number Ten They’re flying on the "Lolita" express Leaving the world in a right bloody mess I’m just a chav with a cracked iPhone screen Watching the fallout of the absolute scene [Chorus] It’s the Island PDF, the file of the year Making all the posh blokes tremble with fear From the private jet to the tropical sun The elite are all sweating, except for that one [Bridge] [Fast Rap] One Two Three Four Five Thousand pages They’ve been doing this nonsense for actual ages In the Caribbean sun with a drink in their hand While the rest of us live in a bin-fire land (Open the folder) (Control plus F) (Look for your favorite celebrity chef) [Guitar Solo - Sounds like a broken lawnmower but high fidelity] [Outro] I’m going back to my Greggs and my peace of mind Leaving the Jeffrey files far behind But remember the names, and remember the face The whole upper class is a bloody disgrace (Don't look at me) (I was in the chip shop) (Pure alibi, mate) [Fade Out] [End]
