Miss Neilson’s Class – Episode 3: Salt & Smoke

[Intro – spoken over palm-muted guitar] Back in Miss Neilson’s class… business as usual. [Verse 1] Bell’s about to ring, she’s standin’ at the door Smilin’ at everyone, but we’ve been here before I got these little packs of salt from last night’s drinks in my coat Pull ‘em out, hand ‘em off, Slimer’s like, “What the hell, bro?” He’s shakin’ one in my face, “Dick, what are these for?” I’m starin’ at the floor, mumblin’, “You know what they’re for” Miss Neilson’s in the hallway, laughin’ with the teacher next door Slimer flips to ninja mode—didn’t even see him make the move [Pre-Chorus] Stealth little bastard, grin wider than his backpack Dumps the whole damn packet in her coffee, hear the grains go sizzle—shhhhhhhhh [Chorus] Salt in the coffee, I didn’t say to do that! Miss Neilson’s class, better beware She’s makin’ that yuck-face, she’s spittin’ it out Slimer’s goin’ down! blame-game rock ’n’ roll Middle-school scam, goin’ off the rails She’s sniffin’ the air like a bloodhound in heat Slimer’s holdin’ Marlboros—man, you’re beat! [Verse 2] I spot the Lights in his pouch, gold and white Same pack in my pocket, hidden out of sight Strike my Zippo, take a drag, feel that rebel fire Blow the smoke out slow, then toss that sucker in the waste Clink in the metal trash can—lcherry still glowin’ Miss Neilson walks back in, takes a sip, and her face changes “Yuck!” she slams it down, face all twisted up Then the smoke hits her nose—“Who’s smoking in my class?!” [Bridge – half-time, gritty] Her eyes lock on Slimer, pack pokin’ out plain to see I’m sittin’ there cool, heart beatin’ one-two-three She’s pointin’ fingers, voice gettin’ loud Slimer’s screamin’, “It wasn’t me!” but the evidence is piled She’s lookin’ at the trail of salt that leads straight back to Slimer Next thing you know, the trash can is on fire [she yells] Ahhhhh, Miss Neilson goes into a panic “Hold on, Miss Neilson, we’ll take care of it. Let’s just put the can outside first, then give me that extinguisher right there.” [Final Chorus – bigger, gang vocals] Salt in the coffee, smoke in the air! Miss Neilson’s class, we just don’t care! One pack of salt and one bad decision Got the whole room laughin’ at Slimer’s misfortune! [crowed laughin] Salt ’n’ smoke, salt ’n’ smoke— We’re the trouble that she can’t revoke! Miss Neilson’s class Another day of chaos—wild and free! [Outro – shouted over fading riff] Slimer’s takin’ the fall… I’m just sittin’ pretty… See you tomorrow, Miss Neilson… Yeah right!