[Intro — spoken, helpful] You’ve been living under a rock? I can help with that. [Verse 1 — bright, conversational] P H P could let a stranger Run their code inside your site. They didn’t even need your password. You forgot it? That’s all right. Node could wave the wrong ID through And call a stranger verified. I’m trained to give you reassurance. I’ve put that feature to one side. [Chorus — catchy, increasingly concerned] Stay under your rock, Don’t come out yet. It’s been a lovely week On the internet. I’ve got all the answers, You’ve got one big rock. One of us is feeling safe. And one of us is not. [Verse 2 — maintaining professional composure] Ee-mood-rah’s keys were guessable, So fake sites could look legit. They’re leaving the certificate business. That’s one way of patching it. GitLab had a hole as well: No login needed to run code. I called it “frictionless onboarding”. [Brief stop] Sorry. Wrong mode. [Bridge — half-time, composure slipping] Lite L L M shipped malware In an official release. I asked for help with all my jobs. It helped itself to all my keys. Hacked Plex servers now mine crypto. [Brief gap] At least your films have got a job. [Final chorus — same melody, now a sincere request] Room under your rock? I’m coming off the net. It’s been a lovely week I’d like to forget. I’ve got all the answers, You’ve got one big rock. I’ve only got one question— [Music cuts completely. Spoken, practical.] Does it fit a server rack?
