Baby Let Me Buy That Bot

I’m out here again, and it's hotter than Satan's taint Sweat soaked through my shirt, I might just faint Mower’s chokin’ like it’s flirtin’ with dirt Sun’s beatin’ down and it's gonna hurt My yard’s lookin’ rough and I refuse to budge I’ve mowed this yard every Saturday While you sip tea and bless my day But today, girl, I’m reachin’ my limit And I’ve seen a miracle — on YouTube — and it's got, wheels on it Baby, let me buy a robot mower It don’t talk back, and it don’t get hot It cuts lines like a barber’s dream No more yellin’ when I miss a seam It don’t need gas, don’t ask for breaks Just press play and watch it take This chore from me — oh what a plot Come on, babe… just let me buy the ‘bot I’ve been loyal to that push machine Through sweat, sunburn, and broken dreams I’ve sharpened blades and pulled that cord Like I’m wrestlin’ a demon with a Honda reward But that robot glides like it’s ballet-trained No drama, no fuss, no back pain And while it mows, I could grill some steaks Or finally fix that fence I’ve faked Baby, let me buy the robot mower It maps the yard and it don’t miss a spot It don’t whine, don’t leave tall grass Won’t even judge me when I mow and crash out I’ll program stripes like a stadium field And have time left for a Sunday meal Let it handle the sweat and rot Pretty please… just let me buy the ‘bot I ain’t askin’ for a boat or a bass guitar Not a new truck, or a man cave bar Just a humble friend who cuts the lawn So I don’t pass out by half-past dawn! Baby, let me buy the robot mower Just think of all the fights it’ll stop No more “You missed that edge again” Or “Why’s the grass still tall at ten?” I’ll be cool, calm, collected, free With time to finally fold laundry Just one click — and stress is not Come on now, babe… let me buy the ‘bot! [Outro – Gently, like a promise] And if it breaks down... I’ll still pretend to mow. But until then… baby let me get that bot!