Title: “Argument Simulator” [Intro – Both] (M) So… we good? (W) Define “good”. (M) Oh no. (W) Exactly. [Verse 1 – Male] Why are you mad? I literally did nothing. (W) Yeah, that’s the problem, you did exactly nothing. (M) I mean, I was chill, I stayed out your way. (W) Wow, emotional support: hide and pray. (M) You never said you needed help though. (W) I shouldn’t have to send a PowerPoint, bro. (M) Next time make a list or a sign. (W) Next time use your brain, that’d be fine. [Hook – Back & forth] (M) What did I do? (W) You don’t know? (M) No, I don’t. (W) And that’s the show! (M) Just explain! (W) I already did! (M) When?! (W) Like… five times, kid. [Verse 2 – Female] You say you listen but you always just nod, like one of those dogs in the back of a car. I talk about feelings, you talk about food, I’m crying, you’re like “damn, I’m kinda in the mood”. (M) Because stress makes me hungry, okay? (W) Your coping mechanism is Uber Eats, babe. (M) At least I don’t overthink every tone. (W) You literally thought “K.” meant I want you gone. [Verse 3 – Male] You say “we need to talk” and my soul leaves my chest, I start preparing speeches like it’s court, I’m stressed. You ask me questions like it’s a test, and get mad when I don’t guess the answer correct. (W) It’s not a test, it’s basic stuff. (M) Then why do I always fail it, huh? (W) Because you respond with memes. (M) Memes express emotions in 2020 themes! [Mini-Bridge – Rapid fire] (W) You’re emotionally unavailable! (M) You’re emotionally too available! (W) You never open up! (M) You open everything up! (W) You don’t care enough! (M) You care for the both of us! [Verse 4 – Female] You say “calm down” in the middle of heat, that’s like pouring gasoline on me. You say “it’s not that deep”, guess what? Now it is, congratulations, you unlocked boss fight mode. (M) I just want peace, no drama, no war. (W) Then stop acting confused every time you’re wrong. (M) I’m not confused, I’m just surprised. (W) At what? Consequences? Welcome to life. [Final Hook – Both] (M) Can we restart this conversation? (W) You already skipped the tutorial. (M) I swear I’m trying my best. (W) Your best needs a software update, yes. [Outro – Both, ironic calm] (M) So we’re fine, right? (W) We’re… fine-ish. (M) That sounds dangerous. (W) It always is.
